So far, the experience having to do with regular human work and rest schedules is still impossible to get accustomed to. I'm not sure if I should be thankful or not, in realizing my body and will refuse to be hypnotized by habit.
To be back at work after a vacation is always difficult, in the past it's even made me think seriously about never taking off again.
Having to settle back in the humdrum life of performing tasks I'm good at, but derive no pleasure from in exchange for means for livelihood, is a depressing exercise.
I really don't have it that bad, I feel instantly guilty for complaining.

The fact is, I hate this current normalized lifestyle...it's not bad for my current situation (that means the money is good and allows me to provide for my partner's needs while he's in school) but living with a 9-5 engagement is plain soul-sucking, I don't know how humans cope with it.
More than ever, I feel have strayed off my constant struggle, my ever continuing trek through the forest, barefoot and promise-proof. I wasn't sure for a while, I think I may have tried to ignore it. I've traded my own curvy unpredictable way to walk in borrowed cushy sandals, on a paved, pre-made path towards False-Sense-of-Safety county.
I'll need to return to the wild, soon.
Before it's too late.
kamalaksh kamalaksh
26-30, F
Sep 2, 2014