Animals Can't Hurt Your Feelings

They always look for love from you unconditionally and can't hurt you they need you more and that feels good.  I had an ex boyfriend and he left me only after about 5 months of dating he gave me roses and letters and  as he would put it "proclaimed his love for me" alot and then just drifted off he never gave me a reason or a call. But 22 years later we reconnected through old friends on facebook, I will admit I was the one who had written the first note but I wanted to see how he was doing so I did and much to my surprise he answered me. I was in shock and he told me what he was up to and the current events with his family and he said he just got seperated from his wife in August I was not surprised I had seen him once prior but didn't say hello and that was a few years ago his wife was pretty but a recent picture revealed differently she looked awful and I asked why ?  he said she was upset over her hysterectomy. I said to him I was sorry to hear that she was an absolute different person then what I had seen a few years ago I was in shock anyway we do get in touch only when I get in touch with him and I feel why do I want to speak to him for ? He doesn't love me and he is not a person who is caring enough or shows compassion for anything but for himself. I would be an absolute fool to even consider engaging even in the slightest interaction with him as far as communication. I will admit I am married with 2 beautiful children but not happy with my husband he is irresponsible and not too smart. What can I do ? I know I need to engage in other activities but where I live everything cost so much here it is not fair and I will return to college hopefully in September I have to pay off a student loan but otherwise I am ok I will somehow overcome this situation and this guy who I still have these feelings for hopefully will eventually dissipate but I still can't believe that these old feelings are still there I guess there was never any appropriate closure to them.  

 We had eventually met somewhere for only 5 minutes I was on my job and he came in and we talked he gave me a big bear hug and told me that he was sorry and that he was immature at the time, I was only 17 and he was 19 but he was the love of my life as so I felt.  I remember meeting his big beautiful family he has cousins  his Aunt and Uncle had 12 children a huge Irish family and I had so many dreams of  getting married and having a family of my own like that and we went to the beach together the day after we met on New Years Eve and we were on a boat and had a romantic evening together by the fireplace he came to pick me up during a winter snowstorm and had a fireplace waiting and we got chinese  he gave me some kind of quilt because my feet were cold and treated me with so much love and concern and respect. I was in 7th heaven that night. I miss that and I miss the person that he was. Somehow I will get over this person and move on. I will admit I wish I had that back and to hear the words I love you again and I am sorry and I want to make a beautiful life for us. But that is only another fantasy of mine.  Dee     anyone can advise me at anytime thanks for reading  Dee  

Bella70 Bella70
41-45, F
Feb 16, 2010