I'm A Male And I Love Ballet Flats

As the title suggest Im a male in his 20s and I love Ballet flats, Love wearing them since I was very young, since I can remember. I never really understood why and as I got older I thought it was because I grew up in a house full of women including my aunt and her daughter since my dad always worked out of town I hardly ever saw him. I use to think I was alone on this but I didnt care, women shoes, mainly ballet flats, made me feel good and I came to accept that. I'm not really much of a cross-dresser, I have experimented, but is mainly the shoes but soon as time when on I grew to accept my little addiction or love for this shoes I found out I was not alone on this, since I research things online and such, and recently I took a Psychology class in college and I had a wonderful Instructor and I told her about my fascination on woman's shoes, I told her that it wasn't much of a sexual rush, it was just a thing I was comfortable with, I did find woman who wear flats very arousing but not much on my self. I told her that I was not really looking for a cure or anything since I already had learn to accept it as a part of my life, I was just curious. I shared my theory with her and she did the same but the best part is when she reassure me that I wasn't alone and sometimes talking to someone about something this personal is very helpful, and she was right I felt great since it has been my greatest secret, I had never told anyone, ever. I new this is not a problem since it hasn't really interfered in my life in any way, I recently had the courage to walk in public with my ballet flats and I do dress well nobody has ever notice. I really was glad I had that talk with her I even wore my ankle strap mary-janes to her class the next day I've had never heard anyone compliment me like she did I hugged her and told thanked her for everything she has done for me. I think people should do what ever is that makes them happy if it's not hurting anyone including themselves, life is to short and we should all enjoy it how we want and if I love to wear ballet flats then I will wear ballet flats for that is who I am and no one will ever change that.
Quix6e Quix6e
22-25, M
25 Responses Aug 24, 2011

do not feel bad I like flats to and I am straight

Me too :)

Great story. I have always I an eye for these shoes. I really want to design and make shoes. I have been ridiculed time and time again when I wore clogs back in the day, and even a women's reebok tennis shoe.that just took all the enjoyment out of wearing the shoes for me.

Yes, there a lot of people who support flats even on men, in fact, after some days of my encounter with waitress at the coffee shp i was talking with her about my flats and she said me why no, they look sexy even on men, so as you can imagine, i´ve been many times after this at this coffe shop in my silver flats. Another time i was taking some pics of me in a tourist village, of course in flats, and a woman looked at me, well, after some pics of the village and me i intered at a frame picture shop and that womas were the sales woman, so i were loooking at some village pictures and talking with her, after ten minutes came her husband and she introduced me as a friend ¿? well we was talking about paints and finally about my flats. He said that they were no very appropiatte for a motor bike so she replyed that yes, but they are so confy as i said the same.
This experience was very exciting, at least for me.

Great story. Thanks very much. This encourages me even more to continue wearing my flats.

Very nice to hear about your experience. I often find it difficult to go out in public. I become nervous and very self aware. The flats feel great and look good too but I sometimes walk out of the way to avoid people and other times, I don't. I need to learn how to pair my wearing of the shoes so they don't draw too much attention. Thanks again for your uplifting story. it helps.

It takes time to get up the courage and to realize that no one else really cares. Take your time and enjoy it. Flats are an awesome style of shoe!

I am a guy and have been wearing flats since 1970. It took years to get over my inhibitions; it was a glacially slow process. I realized that if one wears black socks and black pants with black flats, the shoes are much less noticeable. Over the years, I\'ve probably bought well over 100 pairs, in black, navy, brown, gray, taupe, neutral, white, and cognac. I\'ll buy leather, patent leather, and suede, but always in solid colors. I will remove any bows. I generally wear flats with socks of a matching color. However, during the summer, I will wear them without. I deliver a paper route with them. I\'ll wear them pretty much anywhere except private homes. I met a personal challenge recently by wearing a pair of black flats with black socks while donating blood. I even had the nerve to wear a pair without socks in a Payless shoe store. Most people won\'t notice, and adults who do won\'t say anything. Children and teenages are less inhibited. I sometimes think I\'d like to be buried with flats on. That\'s my story.

1970? Wow! I was seven years old back then and it would be really interesting to see what type of flats they had then. I remember the 1970's for platforms and high espadrille wedges. I wear my flats barefoot, and I have lots of stories to tell about wearing my flats in Payless. Way to go, Bruce!

During the 70's, flats were constructed differently than they are now. They had half-inch heels, unlike the eighth-inch they have now. They had a short and narrow piece of metal the arch, so you couldn't bend them. And they generally had skin-tone soles. I would write the date I purchased them on the bottom near the heel. The first pairs of flats I bought cost a whopping $2.00. I was a bit self-conscious going through the cash register with them. I think I wore them close to ten years before discarding them. By the mid 70s, I started mail ordering them from catalogues. This was a good 20 years before the Internet. Bruce

Take little baby steps... Start by pumping gas in your car wearing flats. Once you're confident about that, go into the store itself and pay for gas. Then try something like a bookstore or gift shop, especially when they first open. If you live in the USA, Barnes & Noble's is a great place to start. You can browse books around various areas of the store, and you can always "hide" in a different aisle if certain people make you uncomfortable. From there, go into a large retail store like Target, especially at opening time. As your confidence steadily builds, you'll find you want to go EVERYWHERE with your flats! The key here, is timing. Morning on weekdays is your best bet, when stores are less populated. Mornings on weekends can also be good for you. Eventually, you'll find that you can wear flats at a jam-packed shopping mall on a Saturday afternoon.

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I really love your story, I am stright guy in my late 30´s and I love to wear flats for many reasons: I have a really small feet (I wear women US size 8.5 and 9 depending the brand) and when moving to Canada most of the shoes that I like for a guy were in bigger sizes, they are very comfortable, easy to slip on, keep my feet fresher that close men shoes, light weight shoes, they are not expensive shoes. I feel really happy that I am not the only man that loves to wear this comfortable shoes in public, first time was hard and I took me a lot of courage. Most of women are supportibve and the only that look at your feet, some of the start to giggling or smiling, some ask me where I bought them, some even swapped flats with me. Talking with the owner of a small gift shop, she loves to wear flats and her flats were quite similar to mine (black with a small bow a liittle bit low cut) and she told me that everybody can wear flats as they are like slippers. And I completely agree. I wear my flats with my men clothes in a dressy way so they look more discret and stylish. I participate in this article, showing how a man can match flats with his men´s wardrobe:


Hope tou loke the article and the pics.I wish flats become soon a unisex shoe.

I am a straight male, 63 and I love to wear ballet flats. I don't wear them all the time. Depends on how self conscious I feel at the time. I have some in black, pink, purple, red, and brown. I usually wear only the black and brown outside. I do get looks sometimes but mostly from women.
I enjoy other womens clothing items but that's another conversation. I think you should wear what you like and just forget anyone's stares.

As the French say, 'par hasard' I saw this post and the interesting conversation which it caused. I do not really understand the difficulties with wearing ballet flats for men. Perhaps it is because I am a professional artist and exhibition designer, who is not unknown in Maastricht, a town with a very international atmosphere, where the EU was born and which seems (at least to me) very inviting to creative thinkers, artists and other people who hate boring greyness in life. I wear nearly everyday ballet flats, tights, skirts, etc. But only in a manly way. So never I wear female shoes, or other clothing cut for women's shape. By the internet I discovered all over the world creative people (most of them are female!) who create for me the clothes I like. Often, my shoes are inspired by medieval or renaissance shoes, but all of them are newly designed. I can recommend every man to leave the boring mass clothing behind and reintroduce the colorful clothing men wore before the tasteless 19th century bathed us men, in grey and black!
In case you are interested in my style - take a look on www.saaibestrijding.blogspot.nl

Yes, why not? who rules the world? it´s only on your mind. I wear flats continuously at hom, so on day told, whatthe hell, why not wearing them publicly? You can make an experiment, put on your flats in a out of light room, what is your feeling? yes this is the question, i you don´t show them it´s like not wearing them. So i´vestarted to wear my ballet flats in public, of course as they are, even with the bow, and why not combining them with my look, so last evening i was at a bar for a coffee, and i was wearing my silver ballet flats, the waitress saw me like seeing a martian but this was the unique people that noticed my flats.
Don´t be silly, life is to short to not enjoy your desires.
Cheers from Madrid (Spain)

hhmmm ... very interesting to say the least ... I didn't know that martians wear flats ... lol

by the way ... I wear flats too all the time - but I can convince you that I'm NO martian ... I'm from Arcturus, 36 and some what lightyears away from earth, and that's what I'm in advance ... lol

and - I'm more familiar with the very south of spain!

Thanks for becoming my fan. The ballet flats that you have on the pic. look very sharp and comfortable. What brand are they?

Hello to everyone. I'm a new member and I would like to share my story. I'm a straight male in my early 40's. I grew up around women. My mother and my aunts. And since I was the only child I feel that I was raised like a girl. But anyways, the bottom line here is that I love to wear ballet flats. They are so comfortable especially when I wear them with sheer hosiery. (Since I wear support hosiery mainly for medical reasons.) So am I in favor of men wearing ballet flats? Absolutely! Like I said they are comfortable and are easy to slip in and out of them. I don't care if they look girly, as long as they are comfortable and look great and we are not hurting anybody, it's fine. It's too bad that they are not sold as unisex, even though ballet flats are considered unisex at least to the best my knowledge. And besides, ballet flats were originally worn by men and women in the 16th century. But since the 19th century us men have been subjected to a dull, boring and mundane fashion as for shoes and clothing. Most men's shoes are heavy and uncomfortable and are not that great looking. Please quote me if I'm wrong. I'm just saying what I feel and what I have learned along the way. I would like to go out in my ballet flats anywhere without any fuzz. I only wear them here in my home. I purchase my ballet flats without any bows or anything else on them. I just get them in a neutral color like black that doesn't stand out. I hope that I can get some words of encouragement from members. All I can say is that I'll take "baby steps" on this matter. And to all men who love to wear ballet flats for whatever reasons, go for it!

Oh wow, that's great. I still haven't gone out in ballet flats in public. I only wear them here at home. I only wear some black unisex flat shoes that I bought at a shoe store in Mexico. These shoes were with the women's shoes but the clerk said that they were unisex so I bought them. I have worn them a few times with hose with jeans to go shopping and nobody has said anything. I don't even get looks from people. People are either too busy with their business or they just simply don't care. So maybe soon I'll give it a shot with the ballet flats and see what happens. I just want to be who I really am. Thanks for the words of confidence.

> Please quote me if I'm wrong.
... It's too bad that they are not sold as unisex, ... <

ha! sure you ARE wrong! they ARE sold as unisex without any doubt!

1st - both genders have to pay the same price
2nd - both genders pay with the same currency
3rd - both genders throw them into the same trashcan when they are outworen

so ... where is the difference? flats ARE unisex ... lol

>These shoes were with the women's shoes but the clerk said that they were unisex ...<

for sure he knew that they were only misplaced ... like the German gold in the FED when the Germans wanted to audit it in NY some times ago ... and want it back now ... lol

http://divinecosmos.com/index.php/start-here/davids-blog/1110-super-bowl-blackout-an-alliance-strike-against-the-cabal (scroll down!)

Thank you. Very well said. And yes, you are absolutely right.

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You are so right in this. I'm a young woman and i love ballet flats too, but if you love them too i really don't see why you shouldn't wear them :)

Thank you very much is people like you that gave me the courage to truly be who I am, I believe that my actions should define who I am not my clothes .

Thank you for the positive feedback. It's good to know that there are women who are supportive and don't see it wrong for a man that likes to wear ballet flats. I hope that I can find a woman that wouldn't mind for me to wear ballet flats.

I sincerely wish all the best for you...perhaps 2013 will be the right year for you :)

Thank you kindly. I wish you also a happy new year and that 2013 be a great year for you too.

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I started wearing them since I was 7 and it was because of my little sister. Now I'm 25 I have a girlfriend and she has seen me wearing them and she feels good with that

I have grown around woman my whole life and started wearing my cousins flats and shoes since I can remember. I'm 25 as well, don't have a girlfriend at the moment but have plenty of friend girls which I'm comfortable wearing my shoes with they are the best.

Glad your girlfriend is supportive. Do you wear your flats together?

eehhhm ... usually shoes are ALWAYS woren together ... to wear only one shoe would be -at least- very unsatesfying for the other foot ... lol

I wear ballet flats all the time and never any issues. Most comfortable shoes I own.

I agree and they are so great looking too.

I have to say that, good for you.<br />
I'm a male straight and I also love to wear those shoes, the thing is that I grew up with girls arround me, so when I was little and so as my sister, we loved to play dress up, and that's when all started. She had a beautiful pair of patent Mary Jane shoes that I was atracted to it. I do not have a reasonable explanation but the thing is that it was not until high school that my friends and I wanted to do something crazy for the last day as fresh ment, so we decided that we will dress up as girls. I did it, it was the most wonderful thing ever. Of course it was only for a day, but now I do not regret that I did it.<br />
The thing is that now that I'm in my 20's I still have the same fascination about ballet flats, and now that I work and I live in the US it's being hard to not wanted to have a pair. Until one day that I was driving down the road, I decided my mind and I said to myself "it does not define who I am just by wear girl shoes right." next thing I know is that I walked into the store that had just opened, and even though there were afew people there, I did not care at all and I went to the woman section and started looking around, until I finally so them, beautiful black patent leather flats so I wasn't able to find my size, and one of the clerks so me ans she said. Can I help you? I couldn't say anything I mean even thoug I don't believe in rules of society regarding gender, the lady just said. "what zise are you looking for?" and I knew my size so I said 8 she said ok I'll be right back. Five minutes later she came back with a box and hand that to me. Last thing she said was "I think you will look better in 8.5 so here you are." I was speach less, not by the fact that she knew my zise but for the fact that she was ok with a guy buying a pair of girl shoes.<br />
The bottom line of my experience is that as I'm writing this I'm wearing my patent flats and they are so comfortable that I just wish this kind of shoes were allow for guys like us.

why not allowed? I wear them all the time and EVERYwhere!

well what i mean with allowed is that I just wish that they were unisex so girls and boys could buy them with out any comments. for example today I was walking my dog in my street and I was wearing my shoes, this is actually my first time doing it so everything was fine, until we got to the end of the street and there was a house with a man in his porch, he looked at me like I was something out of the planet, so I said hello and he just went inside. the bottom line is that now instead of feeling good with my experience, I just feel awful. I knew it that I would receive feed back like that but never felt the experience, after I came home I talked to my mom and she said, to me I don't care how you look I will always love you.
so as a personal question how do you do it?. was it hard the first time?

I wear flats sine around 8! you´ll find the story in my profile.

Wow Me and you have so much in common except for the high school part, man I wish I would of done that but hey I'm very grateful for your great comments and experiences they are are great. As for my first experience it was not bad and I usually ignore those who give me the weird look but other than that those who have been brave enough to give me a comment have all been positive.

would love to read it.

I think the important point is that mean wearing flats is NOT disallowed. Wear them whenever you want, I do.

Nothing wrong with men wearing ladies shoes. It's the people who think its wrong for men to wear them that need educating. Earrings were only worn by women years ago. Now men wear them too. Enjoy wearing your flats.

Totally agree on that, and now that I'm able to wear them whenever I feel like, I started to notice that all my friends that know me deep enough, found it interesting and bold, not seen a dude wearing office wardrobe on week days, but seen that same dude on weekends just been more comfortable (flat case) or with an excellent way of standing out of what society crap dictates, even one of my friends told me. "Dude I can't believe that you are able to maintain such good looks and be fashionable even with those patent wedges, even having a girlfriend, hot as she is and those awesome looking toe nails, you rock."
Today we went all together to the movies. My girl and I wearing blue jeans, and blue wedges, and of course our matching red fire toe nails.

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I have been wearing ballet flats around the house for years and recently began wearing them in public. I have always enjoyed the look and feel of this style of shoe as they are much lighter and more comfortable then mens shoes. I am older with a wife and adult children. While my wife isn't wild about the idea, she tolerates it. I usually wear darker flats with no bows or decoration. Most of the time people don't even notice, or if they do, don't seem to react either way. I wear them so often in the summer that I often forget that I am wearing a womens style of shoe. I like the lover cut flats as they are cooler in the summertime.

I love wearing them too :)

wear ballerinas all the time too ... no big deal ... nobody cares ...

I love your story. I wish I had your courage. I live in a small town and it would not be accepted very well to go out in public that way. I did wear my flats on a trip in a big city once. It was very exciting, even if no one saw me.

Hello, thanks for this website. I'm leaving in Belgium and I like wearing flat shoes as the one above. I usualy wear such a shoes with black pantyhose, unfortunately here in Belgium, peoples are stupid and most of them are laughing when I cross them in the street... When I go to Germany, peoples are more open and never I got "bad" comments. I really like to wear flat shoes for many reasons, they are comfortables, easy to put and remove, cheap and sexy... I'm married and have 3 chlidrens so, I'm not gay ! but I like wearing flat shoes, pantyhoses as many other men it seems....Hope one day peoples (here in Belgium :-) will change and accept that. Anyway..I'll continue to wear them and go to street with them in my foot... Sorry if my English is not perfect but as I said I'm a Belgium guy... Thansk for having reading me, for your comments....<br />
See you

sorry for late response, but I'm glad my story has helped you in some way I wish you the best my friend and live life to is fullest doing what you love most.

Thank you for all ! A lot of things have changed in my mind. I don't take care anymore of what peoples think, they can look at me, comments or whatever I now wear what I like and what which makes me feel good. Even in my city I wear flat shoes with pantyhose and super skinny jeans. I have the body (legs) compatible with this style. It's each time very exiting to go out dressed like that. I'm also happy to read/meet peoples who think like me... Thank you again for your wonderful website/blog...

Wow. Reading this, I'm sitting here feeling much less alone. I love mine, too. Just got my first two pairs- one shiny red and one black with a fine, fine sparkle to them. Got them both on E-Bay. I love the way they look on girls, and on myself, I like them, too. It's a different feeling though, but it's certainly one that's made me happy since I got them a week or so ago. Like, honest to god, I look at them, smile and think 'Yeah.. I'm glad I got them. They're so cute and they make me happy! I haven't gotten the nerve to wear them out though. I think it's a matter of being with really good people who you trust- just like in ALL parts of life! :) But yeah.. great stories, Quix6e.

Sorry for the late response...But wow your comment made my day I can believe some people have actually found my story quite inspirational, Im very flatter.My flats make me happy to I cant help but look at all my pairs of flats and smile but dont give me to much credit I still get very nervous when Im out in my flats. But to tell you the truth it gets much easier the more you do it I have even started telling some of my friends they are so awesome.

meant to type "can't believe "...

How do they usually respond?

Yes u did and not at all I was really nervouse getting them and the ones I choose were from payless black with a bow I really like then n love walkin around them

Oh wow man, same here, the first time I was nervous too and my first pair of flats where from payless too. They where black, cheap and my size and they also had a bow, one of my favorite pair of shoes, just wish payless still sell them. here is a pic http://www.kaboodle.com/reviews/smartfit-millie-ballet-flat-1

I am so glad that I found this site. I have a pair exactly like this. They are my favorite flats. More about me: I am a married man with 3 kids. I have a huge aversion to ballet flats. I love to wear them when no one is around.

Cuz of the support I've gotten from reading these stories I finaly was able to go out n my first pair of flats thanks guys

Oh wow that is wonderful I can believe I have helped someone, I would love to hear about your personal experience and would love to know which shoes you picked as well. If you dont mind out of curiosity?

I wear ballet flats (and mary-janes) all the time. I think they are very practical shoes, and I have a high instep so they are much more comfortable. I bet if more men tried them, it would catch on.

No, I think their is enough men who wear them, just not in public. I wish we can all get together and just walk out one day in what ever we want not just ballet flats. I recently grew some courage to wear flats in public I still get a bit nervous but ill get over it, I recently told a few of my female friends and they love me in my flats so is fun to go to places with them while wearing my flats, is just so revealing.

I wear them so often now I often forget I'm wearing flats designed for women.

I am a married man with two adult boys, and have been wearing Mary-Janes and Ballet Flats now for a number of years. I loved seeing them on women and wished that I could wear something so soft and comfortable looking instead of the clumpy shoes we are expected to wear. The next question was obviously, 'why should I not?' I wear them to the supermarket, and unless I have to dress up for an occasion, wear them most of the time - often it is all I wear - particularly in the summer. I am a bit addicted and have quite a few pairs now. It harms no one - go for it - women have moved into the whole of the men's wardrobe and nobody raises an eyebrow. It is too one sided. Be courageous, start a trend.

I hare you my friend I believe in everything you just said and if everyone wants equality then we should go all the way for both genders.