Possibility?

By all accounts, it seems as if i am barren and cannot have children. But I had a friend who had doctors tell her the same thing, but after a 9 year marriage that failed, she got remarried and a few years later she found out she was pregnant. She told the Doctor that she could not be as she could not get pregnant, but a few months later she gave birth to a healthy baby boy...so I have a small amount of hope.

I really do not think the problem lies within my husband, but when something is so dire as a barren womb, I think you hate to admit that it is fully your fault. Whatever the problem I think of my friend and say, "Maybe this was the time it could have happened."

So I NEVER use a condom.

I try not to do this, as I love my husband and want him to have sexual variety, but when I give him oral sex, anal sex, a hand job or foot job...I feel guilty afterwards, wondering if that was the seed that could have gotten me pregnant.

I am only 33 so there is some time on my biological clock yet, but every month I am getting more and more desperate. I wonder if maybe it is my husband and have had so any disturbing ideas, like trying sex with almost anyone to get me pregnant, even being a prostitute if that is what it takes. I know in the bible that it did not work out well for Abraham or Sarah so I know my thoughts are silly, but that is why I always have bareback sex!