The Studio - A First Experience With BDSM

New to this foreign country I had moved to, this day began just like any other day. It didn't feel special but it was the day that changed my life forever. With nothing to do, just killing time I went to a market. Wandering through booths and exhibits of crafts and home-made goods the vendors were selling. Enjoying the atmosphere surrounding me, the sights, the sounds, the smells.

I came upon an area where different local artists were displaying their works. Beautiful paintings and drawings, landscapes, portraits, abstract art... it was all very nice. Browsing through and admiring different paintings, one painting caught my eye. It was very chaotic, unlike the others next to it by the same artist.

Through swirls and lines and chaos I saw a vague depiction of a woman bound. I kept staring at it, seeing if more emerged from the chaos the longer I studied it. Looking around, I tried to find others similar to that one to see if there was a series that would tell a story... but that was the only one, and very unique to the other works displayed there. I was captivated by that piece, drawn to the chaotic brush strokes on the canvas, almost hiding what was the focus... a woman bound. Yes, her arms above her head, wrists bound with a few bold brush strokes, the swirls were her breasts emerging... and yes, those brush strokes slashed across her torso must be rope or..? Stepping back I could make the woman disappear into the chaos, but once I saw her... she was so clear, almost calling to me. Then I hear a low deep whisper near my ear, "What is it you see there?" Blushing, I stammer a reply that I'm just looking... Realizing that it is the artist, I tell him that I love his work, and how warm the paintings of Venedig seem. His eyes were penetrating... watching every nervous move I made, almost predatory. He said, "But the Venedig paintings do not speak to you as this one does." I remember making some excuse about me trying to figure that one out, as it was so different than his other works. He again asked me, "What is it you see?" I replied, a woman... Not wanting to say that I saw her bound. What if I was wrong? What if I was right?

He laughed a small chuckle and asked if I was interested to see other drawings similar to that painting. I sat next to him and he brought out a sketch pad with page after page of women and couples in sensual poses, naked, some fully exposed. He paused a moment and looked at me with such intensity and asked me to come to his studio the following day, telling me he had many more drawings that might interest me. He gave me his card and made me promise to visit him.

That night, I thought of every excuse to not go... and I thought of all the drawings he had shown me, just simple sketches that spoke volumes... his private collection, curious to what else he had, but being afraid, sensing perhaps that what I would see would change me. I can't say now looking back, but there was this unease I felt. I fell asleep telling myself that I would follow through with my promise. It was to view artwork afterall...

The following morning I called him to say I was on my way. His voice lit up and said he would be expecting me.
I arrived at his studio, and it was much larger than I anticipated. We shared a nice coffee and conversation before he excitedly asked me to follow him to another room. There he had so many wonderful and colorful paintings displayed. He talked about his works with area schools and hospitals, telling me he was currently designing a wall mural for the Oncology wing at a hospital. He showed me photographs of paintings he has done for different community projects. He paused and turned to me and said, "But my dear... art comes from the soul, from what is inside us, and we share that gift with others and these are what I want to share with you" as he pulled out a large portfolio of drawings and watercolor paintings. They were all very erotic, depicting sexual poses and scenes. Sensual and dominating... lewd and loving... Domination and submission, bondage... and I was captivated.

I know I forgot to breathe until a gasp escaped my mouth. He asked me if I had experienced being bound, being submissive, being adored in surrender. I shook my head no because at that moment I couldn't speak. He said, "Don't you wonder sometimes how that would feel?" And he was right, because at that very moment I was wondering how it would feel to be bound, without control, the same as in his drawings, again I could only nod yes.

He led me to a chair and got a thin rope explaining that he wanted to show me something. He tied my hands leaving the rope loose enough that I could easily pull them apart myself. He explained he would not bind my hands tight, that this was just a demonstration. He then took a scarf and tied that across my eyes, a crude makeshift blindfold. He then took a paint brush and lightly ran it across my skin, showing me how the sensations were heightened by being deprived of sight and the ability to move. Then he ran his hands across my skin, whispered softly into my ear... not only did I hear his whisper, I felt his whisper, the heat of his breath, his soft hands, the slight movement of my hair when he leaned close to my neck... I felt everything, the intensity...

He removed the blindfold and rope and said that he sensed an awakening in me. That if I would trust him, he would open a new world to me. We talked for a few more hours, about everything, about dreams, about a new world full of experiences I had yet to discover... and it was time for me to leave, again with promises of returning whenever I wanted to journey into this unknown world.

About two weeks passed before I made the decision to visit him again. Two very long weeks spent thinking and dreaming about that one small encounter. Questioning if I wanted to discover this unknown world, but feeling drawn to it all the same. It felt like he had found the key to unlock this part of me that I never knew existed. Although if I say I never knew it existed it would be a lie. I did know it was there, and had been drawn to it in the past, but I didn't realize it was so much a part of me. He unlocked that, and I knew I had to meet him again because he either needed to open that part of me fully or lock it up tight again.

When I returned to his studio I didn't know what to expect or what to do. Of course I had searched online about D/s relationships and was overwhelmed at what I found. Some things repulsed me, some things were arousing and exciting, some things I clearly saw were not of my interest. I didn't know if I should enter his studio and drop to my knees before him in submission and not have eye contact with him and call him Sir or Master. I had so many questions and no answers.

It was nothing like I expected. Again we shared a nice coffee and conversation and I know that he sensed me relaxing. We talked about what being Dominant meant to him, what submission meant for me, or what I felt it meant for me at that time. Why we had these desires and needs... We discussed the different extremes within the community, and he assured me that what works for one doesn't work for the whole. We talked about boundries and hard limits and safe words. We talked about things I wanted to try, things I didn't want to try. We talked... and talked. He explained to me that he saw submission as a gift, a gift he was grateful to receive, a gift he wanted to celebrate. He explained his role as a Dominant was to lead and guide me, not for just his pleasure but together as a couple. That he would be my Mentor, my Master, my partner and we would build this relationship for as long as we both wanted it to grow.

It felt right. It felt comfortable. It felt like we belonged together at that moment, for that purpose.

He was sensual, compassionate, firm, demanding, soft-spoken, authoritive, comforting, and I felt like I belonged where I needed to be for the first time.

He had me stand in the sunlight streaming through the window. He told me to just close my eyes and be still. He then began to remove my clothes slowly, expaining to me that when I came to him, I was wearing the outside world and as my clothing was being removed, he was removing everything I knew from the world outside. That I would stand before him naked like a blank canvas waiting to be brought to life. It made sense. I needed that division from my everyday life, to this new world inside the walls of his studio. He was the artist painting a new picture. That became our first protocol. The rules that our relationship was based on. After this day, I could enter his studio and greet him, talk to him about anything and everything, but when the clothes came off I was ******** of that outside world and became his subi.

On this day, standing exposed in the sunlight. He reassured me that with anything he did, our green/yellow/red safewords were my control. He unlocked a door at the back of his studio and led me inside. I was surprised to see he had a small bed, cabinet and chair there. He noticed my surprise and explained that he spent many nights at his studio when he was in his creative phases. It was then that he placed a blindfold on me and instructed me to lay on the bed. He talked calmly to me as he used rope to bind me to the bed. Constantly inquiring how I felt, how what I was experiencing felt, calmly reassuring me through his words. I thought I would feel anxious not being able to move freely, losing so much control to someone else... What I experienced was a profound sense of peace, a relaxation that was complete. A calmness inside of me that I had never felt before. I belonged there, just like that, it was right. Completely right. He not only opened that part of me that was locked away, he completely disposed of the box that contained it.

That day was wonderful and amazing and full of emotions that words cannot describe and I won't lessen those feelings by trying.

As we met more rules and protocols were established. We built our relationship on trust and respect.

With him I shut the door on the world and opened the door to our passion, needs and fantasies. As strange and as uncommon as they seemed, it was what we both craved and needed and wanted from each other. We moved into world of sex and *******, stretching and filling, bondage and spanking, opening and giving, clamping and flogging, clutching and teasing, laughing and singing, moaning and begging, being piggish and greedy, wet and dripping, licking and tasting, and endless experiences.

As happy and joyful as my time spent with him was. There was a part of me that remained sad and out of place... I soon found my only real happiness was the few stolen hours locked inside his studio. I felt out of place in this foreign country. Alienated... without the language skills to adapt well in society. I found my interests were not with the few friends I had around me. I was homesick for my own country... for the familiarity of things, for English, and I was torn.

He knew all this, and felt my sadness. He was really in-tune with my needs and felt helpless to do anything to relieve this suffering I had inside. He knew my wishes were to return to the US and live where I felt most at home. When that opportunity came up, he encouraged me to do so even though it meant leaving him. He told me I was free to go, that he supported anything that made me happy. He was giving me permission to leave him. I was torn, needing him and needing to be home. I didn't know which way to go, what was right, what I should do. I felt this was the beginning to the end... and it was.
LayDbug LayDbug
46-50, F
5 Responses Nov 30, 2012

This is truly a breathtakingly beautiful recount.

The way you write of this man....catching a woman unaware...they know they are intrigued...but he see that there is a depth to it they themselves don't yet know. He can see the truth - how very easily they could be led into this world...a world that a part of them has always know it belonged in. And he knows - without a doubt - it would be something utterly beautiful.

I love how you capture that moment....that tensing of a woman's flesh as a whisper causes their body to clench...just under the skin...and yet - to their core...and they are turned on....suddenly very aware of their desires, and carefully planned actions just before find her suddenly alive in ways that will transform her world....from that point on...forever.

I love how you relived that moment when he saw a woman suddenly swept by her own desires to a place you know she has never been before...and you know that somehow she has always ached for something just like this....and that there can be so many moments...so many very different moments...just like this...as he explores the beauty of the desires he knows are buried deep inside her soul. And I like that hint of his seeing you discover others that can be carefully planted, nurtured, and grown into something amazing for them both.

I love that sense of "energy" that fills the air when she suddenly realizes she is so completely and deeply immersed in her own desires that there is no hope of ever returning to the innocence of "what was" before this moment....but that does not matter. ...that sense of knowing that - for now - this is where she BELONGS!

Yes, I do read it (and relate) from a place somewhere on the other side of this man's brush than you, and I do think you've captured the beauty and the art of it quite splendidly!

I will be sharing this post with a very special woman I know....someone who can very much appreciate what is written here.

You have done well. I very much like that you shared this here.

Amazing recount of a very personal journey. Many stories are told here on EP. Very few open up and bare their soul. Your master was masterful in his technique. He was an artist on your soul and psyche. It is sad that you could not remain together. But glorious that you found a soulmate for a time. Thank you for sharing this with us.

wow ! what an intense passionate revealing story ! did you find another dom to serve when you returned to the US? very well written and exciting ! kudos !

Your experience as described is a beginning of a journey for you into the satisfaction of your desires. Once awakened these desires are very diffocult to supress. In your further exploration of the D/s lifestyle exercise good judgement in finding a partner that can meet your needs and demonstrate respect for your limits. There are too many "Doms" in the world that have zero experience and less than zero respect for you as a person let alone as a submissive.

Yes, I've met those that are not respectful and have warped ideas about what being a Dom means. I've listened to my gut instinct and have steered clear so far. I hope that good judgement and common sense always lead me. Thanks for your very insightful reply!

What an amazing experience. Yes, it does seem to have been your awakening to your inner desires.