The Blessing Of Children ...

I have 5 kids. 4 live with me and the 5th is with my wife 2000 kms away. I am one of these very fortunate dads that has been privileged to witness the birth of my kids.

The 3 eldest were all born at home. Although there was a doctor in attendance, I received each of these bundles of joy and presented our baby to my wife ( now Ex). There is nothing in this world that can equal the emotions, the thrill and the rush that this give you. After this, I was the one to release our child and to "sever" the physical link between mum and baby.

The 4th child was born in hospital because there were complications during the pregnancy and a C-section was needed at 37 weeks. I was present for this as well. My baby was delivered and within 5 minutes was in my arms and she camped on my chest for the next 7 hours while mum had an operation and recovered.

My 5th was born 2000 kms away as my new wife and I live in 2 different countries. She is still in Uni and we both want her to complete her studies before she joins us here. This little boy is a miracle, as mum, medically, should not be able to conceive let alone carry a pregnancy to term, and yet, he is here and the doctors are completely stumped !!!

In 2006, circumstances prevented me from working as my then wife was in deep depression and we could not afford child care .... so I was unemployed, looking after my family which consisted of my 4 kids, my 2 step sons and my sick wife. My wife, having "checked out" of our married life and her maternal life, buried herself in activities less than savory to escape her responsibilities and obligations. She sought to escape her choices as she could no longer handle being a mother of babies at the age of 40 when her friends were home owners, free of their kids and living the life she had hoped for herself. Her activities then led her to have an affair and ask for a divorce from me. By the end of 2007, it was all sealed and she split to her new love, only to marry him on our wedding anniversary !!!! ... not even 4 months after the divorce.

I have been mum and dad all through this. Cooking, cleaning, ironing as well as homework, taxi driver and general dogs body. The 2 older step sons left as they were now adult.

This sounds gloomy, but you know what ?? I would not exchange this for a second. I have remarried ... rebuilt my family, and my children are the joy of my life. I have been given the utmost privilege to live the formative years with my kids and we are very close. I have been granted a second childhood if you wish, a new lease on life although my childhood was a good one.

I married "late", had kids "late". ..... then I remarried even later. Being in the situation I am in, I have a bond with my kids that must be like that which a normal mother would with her flesh she carried inside her for the pregnancy. My kids give me pleasure with every word they utter, ever action they do. Like normal kids, they do give me uphill from time to time, but then what would fatherhood be if there is an absence of this.

Each one of them is their own person, unique and packaged with their own set of dreams, aspirations and characters. Every day for me is like getting a new present, you unwrap each on every morning and you are struck in awe and wonder at the beauty and sheer perfection that lies before you.

Would I do it again ??? in a heartbeat !! There is not a single thing on this planet that offers me the joy and pleasure that my children give me so freely and spontaneously. Do I have a debt to them?, sure, but it is the kind one can only repay in kind. I will ensure that they grow up as mature, well adjusted and emotionally sound human beings with a keen sense of responsibility and duty. But I will also teach them the values of family, love, respect and tolerance.

Do I enjoy what I do and what I have become ? .... YES YES YES, Fatherhood is my leading role and I am loving every second of it.
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4 Responses May 14, 2011

A man who gets to raise his children after a divorce is very fortunate indeed.<br />
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The years pass quickly and they head off and out, then rarely spend time as they become as busy or more than we were.<br />
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I'm mindful of "Cats in the Cradle" by Harry Chapin, warning us not to miss opportunities to connect with our kids all their lives, not to wait until we retire and have the time.<br />
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I hope I keep improving as a parent, as my children teach me invaluable lessons.<br />
(Father of 24yr old son, 21 yr old daughter, 16 yr old daughter with former wife, 5 yr old son by new partner)

i am not yet a mom. but i do hope that i will be someday. i want my hubby to be at my side too when i give birth... and i want to experience natural child birth.. hopefully someday. :-)

Beautifully written!! I adore my kids too... and motherhood has defined the last 15 years of my life.

My kids r my diamonds, gold, ruby n all.....not in a million years will I let them go......*wink*