I Am Soooooo Tired

 Today, I do not like being a mom and I don't think that I am a good mom. I feel as though I do not have a consistent approach to parenting and to be honest most times I think that I am going to screw up this child. The temper tantrums are particularly draining especially the shrieking which seems to go on forever. I swear that people in this neighbourhood must think that I am abusing her. Her grandparents got a taste of it today and I came away feeling both embarrassed and inadequate to the task of shaping this child into a polite, well-disciplined individual.

I felt that the tantrums would be fuelled by attention so I would more often than not just let her scream it out. Maybe that wasn't the best approach? When she misbehaves by my mom-in-law's and I try to correct her, it turns into this awful power struggle and I get the sinking feeling that I am failing.

The thing is, mother-daughter relationships can be fraught with so many issues and tensions later on and I was hoping to avoid that as much as possible. Now, I feel that it's exactly the kind of relationship I am laying the foundation for. I'm stuck...and a tad depressed.

indefinitelee indefinitelee
36-40, F
2 Responses Apr 14, 2007

I love your honesty. I don't have a child myself but a friend of mine was training to be a midwife and I read many of her texts. Its normal for women to feel that way, they're doing it wrong, they're scared, hell, even that they don't like their child some times. Its just tabu and no one brings it up so theres no support for first time moms. <br />
Sounds to me like you're doing a great job. I was a horrible selfish little thing until about 17 when I got old enough to really examine myself and my decisions. Even if she is being a little difficult now Im sure that will change as she gets older :)

i've worked with young children of all ages for the past ten years, and while i get a break most evenings, i feel like i know some of what you're going through, except i usually have about 15-20 kids to deal with between 2 of us! which is actually easier i think!<br />
anyway, i'm not sure if you want advice or not but i think you're doing the right thing by ignoring the tantrums... it's what you're supposed to do ( i did child psychology as part of my training) praise the good, and ignore the bad, also routine is VERY important, regular EVERYTHING like bedtimes, meals etc... seems to me she plays up for you when her grandparents are around? tell me if i'm wrong here, but i think she can sense your nerves and worry about how to deal with her when they're around, kids are wonderful, but if they see a 'weakness' they pounce! all you need to do is be VERY consistent, no means no etc.. you give a warning and if it's not heeded, then a punishment, no matter what.. i feel like i'm preaching here.. sorry! i just really want to help, and i've tried and tested everything over the last 10 years through my work and my training.. i would love to go through some things i've found have worked, if you're interested? just let me know!