I'm Okay With Being The Quiet Girl

I always had a difficult time interacting with people my whole life, I can't even have a simple conversation with someone with out forcing out a simple "yes, no, thanks, your welcome".It was so bad a couple of years ago when my mom told me I sould talk more to my hockey team that I have been with since novice and when I got home I cried for being a shy, shy girl.

I sometimes think I have autism but my mom refuseses to believe it, I always had a hard time(not making this up) talking to someone with out wanting to cry my eyes out let alone looking someone straight in the eye. I accepted it recently, I knew I wasn't the one to have friends when I called it off with a friend I only had for 1 1/4 of a year. But I usually just end up running away from them. And I knew inside they were all back stabbers, so I still tell myself its for the best.

But I am now realising how different I am from them,
I am a athlete excelling in any sport,They could never win a dodgeball game to save their own lives.
I read every chance I get, They barley touch a book.
And there are so many more.

I sometimes find a friend in myself like I just love having alone time and just being me, I would do it for the rest of my life if I could. I find it so relaxing to just be alone. The rest of my siblings play hockey too(4 of us not including my parents) and I would stay home all alone,I swear I never felt so calm before.
I would stay that way forever but I am stuck with a bunch of people who could never be a best friend to me.

District7 District7
18-21, F
Dec 24, 2012