My Mom Knew It

my mom knew it all the time, she was a little embarased but she still loved me for what i am. Just like my 2 older sisters, i had some delicate features. I would prefer playing with my sisters and her friends rather than have any other friends. I was so afraid of school, by the 7th grade in schoo, i was very shy :) and i got picked on by other boys a lot. Out of fear, i would stay back in class during lunch hours and playtime, I had no respect or dignity left at my school, My friends would try to toughen me up and ask me to be a man about it, I just couldn't do it, It wasn't in my nature. I got so frustrated that i complained to my mom about the boys and everything. My mom spoke with my teacher and my teacher and after a hard talk, my teacher decided to pair me with the girls. naturally, they weren't so abusive or threatening but they still made of me and reminded me that i'm a 'girl'. :), It was so great and i developed good friends with some of the girls, I played basket ball with the girls, It was at my right level, there was no way i handle how the boys played. Just so rough, i hate it!. I was so small and fragile that i didn't look odd at all,

I wanted to be a princess all the time!, and my mom gave me a strict lecture about it. she tried everything for me to man me up, My mom forced me into a college with hostel facilities so i  could finally be disciplined. I cried so much the first day that my mom took me back!. High school was great, i grew out the long hair i finally wanted. It was a medium length clean hair, which i still have today, although the hair i have today is a lot more feminine.

Both my sisters left home and i missed them so much, It was around this time that i started putting on the make-up and their clothes they left behind. My younger sister had her uniform! and my older sister had her cheerleader outfit and everything. I stayed at home so much that i had a glowing skin tone... i loved it... no exposure to the sun. A wonderful discovery happened around this time, I felt so naturally comfortable around girls at the time, I made a male friend and i felt so comfortable with him, He was gay and not until that moment did i realize i maybe 'gay' myself. i wanted to meet him everyday and we both were super secretive about our friendship. we made every attempt at being private. we both were such wussies but we fell in love. as i got through my high school, i was glad and i took something which suits me better, i got a diploma in arts...

I think i am gay now and am comfortable with it, but i have my type of guys that i want, i like what girly girls want. I kissed my male friend for the first time ever... it was so wonderful!, i wish i could do that all the time. but i'm still very scared about my sexuality, you never know how my parents would react to me being gay, even though i suspect they know i am... I mean, long hair now colored red and everything!.

I was born with such a 'princess syndrome', I want other people to do things to me and treat me like a little princess all the time.
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2 Responses Jul 13, 2010

It made me very sad to read how unhappy you were in the beginning,but so happy that things are slowly but surely working out for you I know what it is like to be born to love frilly things and how do you explain as a male that your three most fave colours are pink pink and pink.The quandry is that all through my many decades i have been mostly male and i have three beautifull grown up daughters ,who incidently dont know of my mix up,Just do what ever in life makes you happy, cos life is too short to hold back from being your princess You sound like, and i am sure you are a very nice person . G B Y ,and peace to you

I love your story! You are a beautiful person and should be proud of who you are. I have a hard time finding feminine girly boys in my area. All the gay guys I meet are into "straight acting/looking" guys. I want to find a real sweet, effeminate, prissy, girly boy to spoil, love, and enjoy time with. Wish it wasn't so hard to find my princess!