I Love Being Me
About 3 years ago, my man and I started to play a mmpog and as a result skype was born for me. Through this game and skype i made contact with a guy 9 years my junior. He was recently married and incredbily good looking.
We spent the next 2 years building up an online friendship - no sexual content. I was the first to know when he and his wife were pregnant, i gave opinions on what car i thought he should buy, and we looked at houses he was interested in buying. I really fell for this guy, he would look after me in the game, and we spent hours playing other online games together or just being in facebook enjoying each others company and sharing photograps and bits of our life. We even built our individual websites together. Being a different time zone to him he would wait for me to come online and then some days we would just talk for hours and hours. I read emotion in his text and could tell when he was up or down in his mood and i tried hard to encourage him to flirt with me, although he wasnt as direct as i was. Then one day, he waited for me to come online, i suggested meeting him when i was next in town. Seeing that as a prelude to a sexual encounter he had some very choice words and blocked me in skype and facebook.
After 2 years my friend just disappeared. I was devastated, it felt like my world had just collasped. Naturally I missed him very much, i would spend most of the day crying at this loss and disturbance in my daily routine.
I couldn't help shift the focus on all the bad things he said about me and so I created a facebook page that would appeal to his ego....
She was 9 years his junior, and basically his ideal woman. Through some fictitious friends, she made contactwith him in facebook.
It took him 10 days to completely fall for her and her lifestyle, hook line and sinker. I am not sure whether he left his wife or whether she kicked him out, but he wanted to know everything about this character i had created. He wanted to meet with her, speak on the phone. he'd drive by her fictitious house and just wanted to spend every minute he could talking to her. I gave him the real me, my opinions, likes, dislikes. I used his dislikes to play with him. I was in way over my head and so wanted to be this character that i had to come clean and confess who I was.
He unblocked me in skype and added me back to facebook but he'd never speak to me unless he was chastising me. I wrote him sorry notes and poems but he just blocked them in facebook. He just couldn't understand how i was feeling, he turned everything around to making it about him.
Then one day I just wrote him a dear john. turns out he'd spent the whole 2 years lying to me, he was never interested in me as a person, or my life, and my pictures didnt make him 'weak at the knees' as he put it, i was nothing more than a nuisance that almost cost him his job. Un beknown to me on the gaming side he was telling people i was a stalker.
Its now 6 months since he left my life. I don't miss him, but I miss the friendship I thought we had and the intimacy skype gave us. I try not to think of him or I would just get upset and he isnt worth that. I have deleted my facebook account since he blocked me again, but my skype is open and I am fragile and vulnerable. I put everything on the line for this guy..... I trusted him and I believed in him.
More recently i have had contact with another guy in skype. He never talks personal with me and rarely does he wnt to chat. Instead when he's feeling horny he contacts me for text sex, although he wants to phone sex and webcam. This doesn't interest me in the slightest.
I think I miss this 'friend' more than i care to admit, but thats what I am looking for, and no matter what he said I love being me, i have a good life, i have worked hard to make it less busy and allow me to spend my time doing what i want.
I am overweight and as he said not attractive to the eye, but I love being me and would like to find another friend without me having to make the effort with real life friends.
I love being me. I shouldnt be open with people on the net so is it really possible for a friend to exist in the virtual world?
We spent the next 2 years building up an online friendship - no sexual content. I was the first to know when he and his wife were pregnant, i gave opinions on what car i thought he should buy, and we looked at houses he was interested in buying. I really fell for this guy, he would look after me in the game, and we spent hours playing other online games together or just being in facebook enjoying each others company and sharing photograps and bits of our life. We even built our individual websites together. Being a different time zone to him he would wait for me to come online and then some days we would just talk for hours and hours. I read emotion in his text and could tell when he was up or down in his mood and i tried hard to encourage him to flirt with me, although he wasnt as direct as i was. Then one day, he waited for me to come online, i suggested meeting him when i was next in town. Seeing that as a prelude to a sexual encounter he had some very choice words and blocked me in skype and facebook.
After 2 years my friend just disappeared. I was devastated, it felt like my world had just collasped. Naturally I missed him very much, i would spend most of the day crying at this loss and disturbance in my daily routine.
I couldn't help shift the focus on all the bad things he said about me and so I created a facebook page that would appeal to his ego....
She was 9 years his junior, and basically his ideal woman. Through some fictitious friends, she made contactwith him in facebook.
It took him 10 days to completely fall for her and her lifestyle, hook line and sinker. I am not sure whether he left his wife or whether she kicked him out, but he wanted to know everything about this character i had created. He wanted to meet with her, speak on the phone. he'd drive by her fictitious house and just wanted to spend every minute he could talking to her. I gave him the real me, my opinions, likes, dislikes. I used his dislikes to play with him. I was in way over my head and so wanted to be this character that i had to come clean and confess who I was.
He unblocked me in skype and added me back to facebook but he'd never speak to me unless he was chastising me. I wrote him sorry notes and poems but he just blocked them in facebook. He just couldn't understand how i was feeling, he turned everything around to making it about him.
Then one day I just wrote him a dear john. turns out he'd spent the whole 2 years lying to me, he was never interested in me as a person, or my life, and my pictures didnt make him 'weak at the knees' as he put it, i was nothing more than a nuisance that almost cost him his job. Un beknown to me on the gaming side he was telling people i was a stalker.
Its now 6 months since he left my life. I don't miss him, but I miss the friendship I thought we had and the intimacy skype gave us. I try not to think of him or I would just get upset and he isnt worth that. I have deleted my facebook account since he blocked me again, but my skype is open and I am fragile and vulnerable. I put everything on the line for this guy..... I trusted him and I believed in him.
More recently i have had contact with another guy in skype. He never talks personal with me and rarely does he wnt to chat. Instead when he's feeling horny he contacts me for text sex, although he wants to phone sex and webcam. This doesn't interest me in the slightest.
I think I miss this 'friend' more than i care to admit, but thats what I am looking for, and no matter what he said I love being me, i have a good life, i have worked hard to make it less busy and allow me to spend my time doing what i want.
I am overweight and as he said not attractive to the eye, but I love being me and would like to find another friend without me having to make the effort with real life friends.
I love being me. I shouldnt be open with people on the net so is it really possible for a friend to exist in the virtual world?
By:
cougaress
Age:
41-45
,
Female
