Confused Love....?

My story all started eight months ago, I met who I thought was the perfect guy for me. We started talking like great friends and ended up feeling a lot more for each other. He asked me out and i accepted his invitation to be his girlfriend and 3 months down the road his cousin tells me he has another girl on the side, this comes a shock to me because he never seemed like that type of guy and i didn't want to believe a word i was hearing. A week later i found out it was true when the other girl sent me a text asking me who i was, this broke my heart in two and i was put against the wall when he asked me to forgive him. My head kept spinning in many directions because he had not broken up with his ex girlfriend when he asked me out so i felt like it was all a game for him. My friends all told me to let him go but I just couldn't he begged me to forgive him and i decided to give him a last chance and he proved to me that he loved me he broke up with his ex and he changed his number and all attention was on me. I thought "wow" he really does love me just as things seemed to be perfect his ex decides to drop a huge surprise on me, well it turns out shes 4 months pregnant with his child and he never told me that it was a possibility she was pregnant! I told myself this is it I'm done but then I had a feeling i was pregnant with his child  at the same time so i felt as if i was stuck in this position whether i wanted to or not, I was about to end our relationship when she told me she wanted nothing to do with him and that she just wanted us to know that he has a son but she doesn't want him to be the father figure to the baby. A relief to me? Not really since i couldn't trust him the same anymore, we talked about things over and over and we found out i wasn't pregnant and we were sad but happy at the same time and a month later he decides to propose to me, i think over and over to myself what to do? I love him for who he is and even though he made mistakes in his past but don't we all? Now my only concern is will he ever hurt me and cheat on me and lie as he did before? I cant go through the pain he put me through again.

My family tells me that there is a better guy waiting out there to find me and that i deserve to be with someone who will have all my trust and love at this point my love for him is a confused love, specially now with the fact that he moved out of town and I don't even know if i can trust him living in another city will he still be faithful to me is my everyday question. Does my heart love him? Am i ready to spend the rest of my life with him? Love is special ....Love is sweet...Love is everything a girl waits for.....But is this true love for me........:(  

pinkbutterfly4ever pinkbutterfly4ever
18-21, F
Feb 13, 2009