She's the Best I've Seen
I love BLL because she has shown how possible it is to accomplish twice as much in half the time if you have drive and a willingness to try. As someone who is twice as old and has done half as much, mainly due to the fear of failure, I recognize how her ability to persevere in the face of extreme diversity can always win out over giving up, - and I am truly humbled as much as I am amazed and inspired. In her short life BLL has succeeded as a dancer, musician, painter, gifted poet, and even, I imagine, her stand-up comedy routine left them laughing. When I am lost or embroiled in my addictions - my pattern of 'giving up', and combine that with connecting or subsequent depression, - I still have no right to think about 'poor me' - about the life I created by running away - when I see how she gets back on the horse, when she can barely walk, or plays with the cards some insidious dealer gives her, when she didn't even ask to play; - well, I am ashamed that I can't get get off my knees and stand up straight and walk in the right direction. Today, when I was walking to work, feeling dejected for having had to start all over again on sobriety, third day only, knowing it's a struggle - 'poor me', 'poor me', I suddenly startled a pair of Mallard Ducks, male and female, mates for life, must be nice, from a drainage pond and they immediately flew up and for a split second, as they made a sharp right turn, - I was suddenly, almost, in one of her paintings, and I remembered her quickly and immediately felt better: Once again I was smiling, the first time in a while, caught in the marvel of her work and spirit. If I manage to change my life, which I have full, new resolve to do, it will be in no small measure to the art, courage and drive that I see in BLL. Despite all her obstacles, she always manages to stir and invite change to others. I love Bleedinglovelust from a distance that can see how people are affected. I hope she know she deserves every ounce of respect and admiration, for her courage, her art, what she does, and who she is. Now, I gotta go climb a mountain. Though from here, and from some lame duck's point of view, - doesn't look so big.