Trip To Arkansas!

Well let me start off by saying..OMG it was a long trip!

We left at 5pm on Thursday. I was excited to get on the road ( I hate to stop for anything!!!) so when my husband asked if I wanted to eat now or wait, of course I let my head, not my stomach do the talking and opted to wait. If you are traveling through small Podunk towns it's not smart to wait too long, they roll up the sidewalks at dark! Meaning EVERYTHING IS CLOSED, no food for the fat girl. Around 8pm we started looking for a place to eat. Town after town everything was closed. Around 10pm, after my stomach had eaten my intestines and spleen for a snack, I couldn't take it any longer I was starving. Now my stomach was doing the talking and not my brain!! So I started looking back at my little girl, Aspyn...of course I wasn't going to eat her! What were you thinking?? She had had Cheetos earlier and I know babies drop everything. So I unbuckled my seat belt and started to look under the seat. My husband asked, "What are you doing?" I huffed, " I'm looking for something!" I was not about to tell him that I was looking for a stale snack under the seat!!! I was praying he wouldn't ask, and he didn't. So with my big *** in the air, leaned over the seat I continued my search. Then I found the most beautiful thing under that seat! A little Debbie's snack cake! I was so excited I forgot we were traveling down the road at 70 mph. I inched myself further, my legs waving around in the air. "You're going to kick me in the face!" my husband yelled at me. "What are you trying to get?" he asked. Nuthin! I yelled. "Well it must be something"! He spat. Oh my God, just shut up I thought to myself. Still I could not reach it. So I inched more. "Your feet are blocking my rear view mirror"! My husband said, sounding a little more irritated. I could reach it if I moved my body to the left. So I did. All the sudden my husband is honking the horn. I screamed, "What are you honking at"?!! I could tell by the way he yelled back, "IT'S NOT ME, IT'S YOU, YOUR FOOT IS HONKING THE HORN AND I CANT DRIVE! that he was extremely frustrated now. So I decided since he was mad anyway, I might as well get the snack cake. So I grabbed it and started inching my way back into the front seat. Suddenly, I couldn't move any further, my necklace was caught on something. Great! Just great! I said to myself. So I had to make an excruciating decision to let the snack cake go and try to get the necklace untangled. So I tried to free myself to no avail. after about a minute my husband said, "would you please sit down". I'm pissed by now, so I scream again. Well, Hell! I would sit down if my freakin head wasn't caught. "Caught on what"? he asked. I'm seeing red at this point! "On the damn seat track, does it matter what it's caught on, I can't get it out, that's what matters!! I yelled at him, like it was HIS fault I got into this mess. "Do I need to pull over"? he calmly asked. I hate it that he can be so calm and I'm so mad! So I reply hatefully, "NO, it's fine, I'll ride the rest of the way to Arkansas like this. So he huffs and says, "I'll pull over". Like yeah, good choice, is all I could think. So we pull over and he unclasped the necklace, (why didn't I think of that)so I could sit back down. He reaches under the seat and pulls out the snack, he looks at the snack and at me, looks back at the snack cake, back at me and just hands me the snack cake. Not a word! Just hands me the snack cake. Then I remember the marshmallow incident at Palo Duro canyon. I felt so ashamed. I almost couldn't eat the snack cake after that. It was pretty good even if it was a little melted. Aspyn decided the show was over so she went back to twisting her dolls head around in circles, while shouting wee wee wee. Then that started me to wondering what she be when she grows up. I think aahhh maybe a funeral director, Just then she sits the baby up yells "NO NO" flips it over and starts spanking it. I shake my head and say God only knows. Believe it or not the rest of the trip was uneventful. Except when at the lake my mother asked me if I had a bikini under that flab. That opened a whole new can of worms!!
Gothgirl77 Gothgirl77
31-35, F
1 Response Jul 13, 2010

I first discovered - to my dismay - the early "general curfew" of small towns when I used to deliver orchids through lower western New York state. After dark for about 100 miles there was one crummy store open in one of several towns that had stale pastries in plastic and nothing else of interest to eat.