My Very First Step

There is a person whom I detest more than anyone else. I detest her because I look at her and I see what I could have been.
She has a mean attitude to everything, she believes that she is the best in everything she does, that no one can know better than her. She finds friends every now and again, but she looses them oh, so quickly. Because she has to be the one making decisions, everything needs to be done her way. Anyone she does not know is someone to laugh about or argue with.
I feel so grateful knowing that I'm not like that when I could have.
I have never had many friends, because I couldn't find them and because I wouldn't care enough to keep them. I couldn't stand that people knew something they didn't tell me, I took for granted that they were speaking of me. I couldn't meet new people because I was too shy and I couldn't stand being in groups larger than 3.
And that was when I started reading.
Reading saved me where I truly believe nothing could. Reading gave me a way to see the world through other peoples eyes, to understand people who were not like me, to understand what makes them tick. I understood and in the process I changed myself. I understood when they said one thing to mean another and because I understood I didn't need to be defensive all the time any more. Reading gave me a place to hide from the world and a place to grow. My books were only one step to the one I am today, but they are the first one, and the first one is so much more important. Today I know what I dislike about myself, what I can change and what I can only accept. I can sit down in my armchair and read about stories - always for fun, but always learning still.
There is a person whom I detest more than anyone else. But I care for her so much. Because I know where she turned wrong, where I turned right and I wish that I could tell her how easy it is to see the world as a happy place instead of one where everyone is out to get you.
EverSparkling EverSparkling
18-21, F
1 Response Aug 8, 2010

It's funny huh. How a story, a book can just drift you away into a deep, safe place where no bad feelings can follow. I love to read, and understand you completely from this post.