Fear

Fiction: I’m afraid I’m going to lose everything, my husband and my professional license. What’s more I’m being raped, that is forced to have sex twice a week with a physician. I’m 5 foot 2 inches, 135 pounds with a 38 inch band size with K cup size. Why is that important? I’m in an adult nursing relationship (anr) with my husband that I love dearly. He is my soul mate! In a way the fact that I have milk is what started the whole situation. My husband has been nursing my milk for 2 years and we are so close and love each other so much. I’m over 50 but everyone thinks I’m late 30’s. I’m blonde with green eyes but as you can see tiny except for my ****. I’m a nurse and a damn good one. I was divorced young and have fought hard to raise my 5 kids by myself and get my nursing degree. I have even survived cancer. I might not have survived the cancer if I hadn’t met my soul mate and married him a couple years ago. He stood by and encouraged my soul to survive. Any way there is a physician that comes to visit our residents once a week. He’s early 30’s married with 2 kids about 6 foot 3 or 4 inches and 230 to 240 pounds of muscle. I’ve worked with him for about a year. I’m a good nurse and so when he comes to our facility he has insisted that I accompany him as he makes his rounds to even residents that are not mine but another nurses. Then after the rounds are done he has an office where we sit down and I make sure all the notes for the patient’s charts are correct. We had a good working relationship. Because I work 12 hour shifts and have milk I go out to my car at lunch and discreetly pump my milk. Otherwise I leak all over the place. One day a couple of months ago I was told the doctor would be late but to be available when he got there. So I ate at the nurse’s desk so I would be there if he came in. I was afraid to go to my car to drain my ****. He finally arrived around 2 pm and we started rounds to see patients. I could feel my breasts were aching from the fullness. As we were nearing the end of the doctor’s visit I noticed I was soaking through my scrub top. It had been over 10 hours since my husband had suckled me in the morning. In order to hide the wet spots on my shirt I held the patients charts to my chest. When we went to the physician’s office I set the charts down and right there was 2 huge wet spots on the top chart. The doctor looked at the chart then at my ****. By now my **** had soaked the front of my shirt and were aching something awful. He smiled and said lactating are we? I turned red and said yes and you being late kept me from pumping and it hurts like hell. I was mortified! Totally embarrassed! He said he was sorry then he set a vase on his desk and said take your top off and I’ll help you ease the pain. He’s a doctor right so I started but then said I don’t want anyone walking in and getting the wrong idea so he locked the office door. Stupid me! I’m too trusting! So I took my top off and my bra. He leaned me over the vase and squeezes my *** to milk it and immediately I felt that erotic ecstasy of my milk letting down. I can’t help but have ******* every time that happens. It’s not something I can control. He noticed my body shiver and my breathing. He said that must feel better. Then he took the other *** and did the same thing. My milk sprayed into the vase and I shook and my knees buckled with the ******. I stepped back and sat on the arm of the couch in his office. I closed my eyes for a second trying to recover and when I did he latched on to my ***. I was startled and jumped but he was still there sucking my *** drinking my milk. I protested and told him to stop but he did not. I didn’t know what to do. If I yelled and people came in I would get fired and if I accuse a doctor of assault I’d get fired and maybe lose my nursing license as they always can get a nurse but doctors are hard to replace. They are treated like God’s! But most of all I thought what will my husband do? My husband is 6 foot 220 pounds retired military with 5 combat tours. He’s a tough guy and would or could kill my rapist. I sat there and let the ******* nurse from me. While my mind was racing, in bewilderment and shock! My body did what is always does. I had an ****** every time my milk glands let down. I had 6 ******* because my milk let down 6 times as he was sucking. So when he finished he stood up and looked down at my wet crotch now because I always *** a lot when I’m suckled due to the *******. He said he knew I liked it then he pulled my pants down as I tried to get up and get out. I had turned away from him to grab at the door so he pushed me down on the couch and shoved his **** in me from behind. He raped me! It only took a few minutes and he was done. He is a big ****** too. I’d say he’s 9 or 10 inches and fat maybe 7 or 8 inches around because I grabbed his **** trying to keep him from sticking it in me and I was shocked that it was so thick I couldn’t get my hand all the way around it. It was a good thing I was so wet because when he shoved that **** in me I thought my eyes would pop out and it hurt because my lover is average size actually all my lovers have been average or small. He is the biggest **** I have ever seen and I didn’t think anything that large could get rock hard but it does. My body does what it does even though my brain is saying no I have ****** after ****** because my ***** is engorged with blood after the suckling so when anything enters there my body responds to the physical feelings. I felt guilty that my body responded to the rape with ******* but inside I’m screaming no! When he let me up I laid there sobbing. Then he told me he would have my license if I ever said anything to anyone. He dressed and left with me still lying on the couch mostly naked crying. This man controls my life now! No one will believe me if I speak up and if I do I expose me and my husband to ridicule for our adult nursing relationship. He could lose his managerial position. My contract says they can fire me and I can lose my license if I commit a criminal act or an immoral act that shames the business. So at the end of my shift I went home and didn’t say a word. If I did my husband would have done something and then we both might lose our livelihoods. So after crying all the way home I sucked it up went in with a smile and greeted my soul mate with a smile and a kiss. Then we did our everyday ritual I undressed he sits on the couch and I straddle him putting him inside me and hold him while he suckles lovingly at my breasts for 20 minutes. I felt so guilty but also loved my husband for the kind sweet man that he is all the more. The next week comes around and I called in sick saying I had a 24 hour thing and would be in the next day. When the doctor was told I was sick but would be in the next day he said he would come back. When I returned the next day they told me he was coming at 9 am I dreaded it when we made our rounds. Then I tried to get him to go to the cafeteria or the break room to give me the notes. He said no and grabbed my wrist and pulled me into his office locking the door. I knew what was going to happen. He threatened me again and told me to undress. He raped me again this time on his desk. Now this has gone for a while now and he now visits our patients twice a week and the owners of the facility love that. I’m ****** literally! I walk into his office close the door and start to undress. He always goes straight for my **** to suck my milk that is my husbands. He is getting rougher and has left bruises on me that I’ve tried to hide. The other day he left finger tip bruises on my *** from squeezing it so hard. My husband mentioned it and I lied and told him he must have handled the twins a little too hard. Now the doctor wants me to meet him at a hotel and is threatening to expose me as a **** cheating wife if I don’t. I love my husband and my career and no one will believe me if I say anything. If I say he raped me he’ll say it was my fault and it is consensual sex. He makes me suck his **** and swallow his juices and he has even raped my *** a few times. Because I’ve had cancer there my husband and I don’t do anal sex and I told him that but he didn’t care. He’s taken pictures of us having sex and a video of me having an ****** while he is ******* me. He says it’s his insurance. I’ve become his ***** sex slave to do with what he wants, he owns me! Now this hotel thing I think he wants to invite friends. He made a comment that he has some friends that would love to take my milk, ***, *****, and pretty little mouth. I’m afraid to go and afraid not too. I told him I’m not going. He told me he will let me know when and where to be and I better be there. What will I tell my husband? What happens if they hurt me or leave marks on me? How will I explain coming home with empty breasts? I’ve told him that they are my gift to him. What’s going to happen to me and us? I’m scared! If I tell my husband now he’s going to leave me because I lied to him and didn’t tell him the first time and kept going back for more. If I had only had the courage to scream that first time when he grabbed my breast before he raped me! Now I’m living a lie! I might have lost my career but I wouldn’t have lost my husband, my soul mate!