My Ideal Butch Woman

For me, It's all about balance. I am a feminine woman who enjoys being a woman and all the trappings; heels, makeup,lacy confections,etc. I am also a woman who is confident in my abilities and independent. I have my own interests and opinions. I can do a few "nontraditional" things like working with power tools and changing a flat tire. That doesn't make me any less femme..Just capable.

That being said, I only date butch women. Nothing is sexier to me than a woman who is physically stronger than I! (All my strength is in my legs and my upper body is pretty I like knowing that she can protect me physically and that can carry over into more intimate parts of our

I like a butch woman to be confident with a swagger but not arrogant or cocky.  I am a mentally and emotionally strong woman and I must have that in a mate. She has to be intelligent as well and have a very good sense of humor! Laughter can see you through almost any tough time in your life.

The sheer contrast of her body in more masculine attire than me is very sexy. Add boxers or briefs and you have scored bonus points...Please...NO Victoria's Secret under there...That's just plain WRONG!!!

  I don't expect her to be 100% dominant in bed, but it is nice for her to take control on occasion.  Outside of the bedroom, we are equal and she always treats me as a lady.

I have to say this as well...She HAS to have manners. Most of my female buddies are butch woman and they treat me like one of "the guys" when I am around our crew. There is all this locker room trash talk and burping..Suffice it to say, I don't want the woman I am seeing to act like that! Be a gentle butch and hold the door if you want to impress a femme girl. You never know where it may lead!

choctawgrrrl choctawgrrrl
41-45, F
23 Responses Nov 17, 2008

This thread has me feeling grand. I am that butch woman. I love a classic femme, however, I get that those roles get a bit crossed practically speaking. I like to wait for my girl to get ready, i.e. put on makeup and hose, but at the same time, I'm not a man. I embrace my girly bits. I was uber-butch as a baby butch(stone even, as they say), but I have grown to embrace my femininity and my C cup, but I still have a perfect double windsor and I will change your oil for you, no problem. I love a femme girl, but we are equals in...well most ways.

I'm a soft butch woman, and honestly I dont care for prissy girls... I like a woman to dress like a woman, but still be able to enjoy some dirty fun like riding four-wheelers or horses... I mean is a nice looking girl who is kind and treats me as an equal too much to ask for? It seems here that you either have to be super butch or super femme and there is no in between... need only to be yourself...If someone doesn't like you for the person you are now, then she is not thte right one for you hon.<br />
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I have a question. How do you feel about semi-butch? I am attracted to more feminine women, but I feel that more feminine women are generally attracted to more butch women. I would place myself exactly at the midpoint between masculinity and femininity. I don't wear heels or alot of make-up, but I don't wear dresses or skirts. I recently came out. Do I have to make some kind of a change in appearance?

i am a butch woman and i am strong, sensitive , tender , protective , loving and caring. <br />
i want my woman to feel taken care of in every sense of the word but i also need love tenderness and swwetness the only feminine woman can give..<br />
sadly i am single...but looking...

Digital, Thank you for your kind words and I applaud you for being true to yourself! <br />
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Life is difficult enough being one that is "outside of the box" by society's standards and when we do not find acceptance from our very own, it is beyond hurtful.<br />
My wish for you is that your mate will learn to appreciate you in all your wonderful butchness and if she doesn't, you should find someone who will. :)<br />
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Indeed, I have found a woman who loves and appreciates me and I am very happy.<br />
Brightest Blessings,<br />

My girl, why have I only just realized your existence? My mate doesn't seem to really appreciate my masculine character. I don't put on a show; I simply am who I am. I've never been anything but butch, and I love who and what I am. I've hopd for years that my lover would come to really appreciate it. Her indifference is discouraging at times. I hope you find your handsome butch lover, and I hope she treasures you as you deserve.

Well Kindal..I knew you had a bit of "kink" in *wink*

Kindal..glad to hear you are well..Haven't seen ya on here in a while. :)

Hahhaha thanks Brut!<br />
I am not "looking" but instead letting the Universe make things happen.

Are you looking for a new lady?<br />
Don't let my long hair fool you... are such a cool chica! You guys doing well these days? xoxoxox ~B

Ah, well, I just re-read this.... I still love my Domme lipstick lesbian wife though. I actually DO like her in sexy lace... although she loves me to wear it even more.

^5 back at ya Kindal!! How ya been?

Ohhh I love your response Emotionally!!! (Screw Victoria's..I like Fredric's since they carry sizes to fit MY curves!!) Androgyny is very sexy...always leaves you wondering a little bit, huh? I guess that might be why trans folks are so sexy to me too. :)

Saratoga,<br />
You are very sweet too..Wow..I have met the nicest people on EP..What took me sooo long?

She really is, isn't she!!!

Awww Kitten,<br />
you are sweet!!<br />

I love all of this happy lovin' going on!! <br />
<br />
Choctawgrrrl, you are awesome!!

Right on Saratoga!<br />
*high-fives all around!*<br />
<br />
It's up to all of us to combat intolerance and ignorance with education...Some people truly don't know any better but there are some that are just asinine!<br />
<br />
Is it any wonder our community adopted the rainbow flag as our symbol? We are just like that rainbow in beautiful variences of gender,race,political beliefs,sexuality, and so forth. That's what makes us who we are and not something that can be catagorized in neat and tidy little boxes!<br />
Brava Saratoga!

Choctawgrrrl, I know JUST what you mean! ;-)<br />
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I'm the all girly one in my relationship, most comfortable in dresses and skirts and makeup and perfume, (yes, I know how to change a tire and I can throw a baseball and I don't run 'like a girl" and I even know how to dropkick a football!) but No One would ever say that I was ANYTHING but a girl... my NewLove dresses (hah!) in jeans... is inept with make up, can't cook worth a damn, is into math, is taller, thiner, and less curvy (uptop) than I... has a unisex name... but also has a wonderful curl in her hair, a woman's touch on my body, and a woman's smell up close (!!!). She is not trying to "be a man" and that idea is just dumb. Why would ANY woman want to give up so much to "be a man"? She is a woman who dresses less girly than her partner, who is more comfortable out of the kitchen, who has a smaller bra size than many other women. That is NOT being a man.<br />
Now, making sudden jumps of logic about what lesbians and bi-sexual women find sexy... and defining our sexuality within the duality of male/female partnerships -- THAT is being a man.<br />
<br />
Silly boys.

Deftone,<br />
A butch woman is ALL-woman, believe me!:)<br />
<br />
Sweetie, you have to let go of stereotypes to see that some of us are different than others. Not every lesbian (THANKFULLY) looks like what Hollywood and the adult film industry thinks we should. What you may think of as a "proper lesbian" is a male-manufactured version for the sole purpose of stroking the male-uh-ego.<br />
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The tired and antiquated myth that butch woman, or lesbians for that matter, are trying to "be men" is ludricrous and homophobic.<br />
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Remember that taste is subjective and whatever works for you may not work for me. Perhaps it is not for you to understand but to just know that some like vanilla and others like me, prefer chocolate. Neither is better than the other, but merely a matter of taste. And remember....Tolerance is sexy!<br />
<br />
Hey...Some of the soy burgers are good too!

I dont understand why a lesbian would like a butch woman. I thought the whole point was to be with a straight up woman, not to come as close to a man as possible.Maybe its like not eating meat ,but chowing down on a soy burger?

It honestly has nothing to do with what you're thinking. The difference between a butch woman and a man is that a butch woman IS A WOMAN. Butch women are "straight up women." They are not men, and don't want to be. If you see a butch-like woman who wants to be a man, clearly that person is transgender or bigender.