Why Buy The Cow When You Get The Milk For Free

Same old song here   I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years    He is a widow and I am divorced many years   I am 51   he is 59   I am considered to be an attractive woman    When we met we connected instantly     Same background   I was so happy    He said he has been looking for me his whole life    So we have been together  and happy 4 years      We had a fight     second one in 4 years    and I have not heard from him since    He is an extremely stubborn man      After the fight I emailed him and I told him that in 4 years we have never discussed the future    I now know why    He avoided it    He was happy with things the way they were   Permanently    I want marriage    I want to grow old together    We did not live together but I would stay on friday  nights or saturday nights   and run home in the morning    Well now that the subject is out there his answer was     Have I ever shown any interest in getting married again    and he has not   because its never been brought up     He also  said    not all great relationships end in marriage    We are at a crossroads so to speak  but he has not talked to me in over a week     I am in a state of shock    I wont call him because I refuse to be in a dead end relationship    I miss him so much     I guess I am just looking for someone to talk to and give me a little advice    Thanks for listening    Our 4 year anniversary is Sunday     So sad  
splainlucie splainlucie
51-55, F
3 Responses Aug 10, 2010

I am on the other side of the coin, but I am here to give you a boost- standing alone with someone just is not right! (People see you as a couple- but you don't feel like a couple- someone has to chage something!) If he has not contacted you in this time- he would not likely ever be who you want him to be. It is not good to try to change someone!<br />
Things may not go the way you hope, yet it will be what is best. Sometimes, we do not know what we really need until after we get what we want- and it goes sour. Do you see what I am saying? <br />
If you have what you WANT but it is not what you really NEED you may no notice until too late.<br />
Try to be sure what you WANT and NEED are the same!

Thank you. Your right though. What is it they say..." I would rather be alone then feel lonely in a relationship" .

That is so sad hun, but good for you for standing your ground. I mean to not even be able to consider living together after 4 years is just unfair. I guess I don't have any advice really. All you can do is see if he comes around, and decide what you want to do either way. It hurts, but it's better prolonging the misery either way.