My New Husband Is In Debt and Lives Wih My Family

I have been married for 7 months and so far its been a bumpy ride.  I met him online and soon got married 4 months.  But it was those 4 months that I didn't ask questions about his finances.  I saw a lot of red flags and just thought it was normal.  You see after we got married he insisted on living with my parents.  Its been really hard because we get no privacy and he just started helping me contribute financially. ( mind you he's been living with me for FREE since April 2008, clothes washed and food all for FREE.  Well to make a long story short, i am 4 months pregnant and with my hormones raging, i had a mental breakdown and demanded we move out.  He claimed we are not ready so my parents got involved and told hom that I just want a future.  I finally made an appointment with a loan officer to see hpw mch we can qualify to buy a condo.  Well it turns out he is 30k in debt and never paid for his credit cards and has judgements on his lease.  This was all before I met him.  Also, I should have known he had all these problems, i basically paid for the honeymoon, engagement party and half the wedding.  My family is sick and tied of us fighting, but you see I just got laid off, otherwise i would have moved out on my own.  I have a grad degree and saved my self for one special person, and all i want is a place to live in.  i dont want my baby growing up in the same house i grew up in.  I am 31 and hes 34.  This guy has no shame and is not being a man.  Sometimes i resent him because he never told me about his past and acted super sweet to my family to try and win them over and it worked.  It worked so much that they think I complain too much and Im crazy.  They even like him better which hurts me a lot.  A lot of times Im not sure i really love him.  I am scared I ended up with a creep and dont have faith in him to help me and the baby out financially.  He is working now but he is very bad with money and swears to me that by july/09 he will have 30k.  I just dont have faith in him and hes caused me a lot of family problems.  I always knew living with family was not good, but I did it because he insisted that he would be able to save rather than rent.  Im scared, am i being selfish, not being patient or do you think I am wrong about feeling this way.  I feel so depressed and think I should have waited before rushing into marriage. 

christina22 christina22
1 Response Mar 13, 2009

Is he the role model you want for YOUR child<br />
<br />
Is your relationship the type you want Your child to grow up and have<br />
<br />
it is hard <br />
but you can do it<br />
<br />
if you want to talk I'll be here for you