I Don't Understand Why

I don't understand why I always feel so different from everyone else. In a room full of people I feel alone, like there's nobody there for me. Even if im with my bestest friends, I still feel alone. No one ever cares. Everyone acts like they do but they dont. People are always so rude to each other, including to me while im there trying to be as nice as possible to everyone. I can start a conversation with just about anyone and im not scared of the public or anything but when I start to get to know people I cant get close to them. I cant open up to anyone and dont trust anyone. Thats how I grew up. Being pretty much abandoned by my parents and always hearing 'theres no such thing as bestfriends'  

Im used to it now too. In the 8 months so many changes have happened that I cant even handle this anymore. I know ill be okay but for now... Im not complaining that I hate this being different. It just makes me sad that ill never fit in with anyone and not being able to feel the same way everyone else does. 
iloveyou123456789 iloveyou123456789
18-21, F
May 17, 2012