Ok....just a Few More!! Thay Are Too Funny!

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.

It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself

Flugelblues Flugelblues
31-35, F
5 Responses Feb 4, 2008

Excellent!!! Love the Mr T one!!!

LOL... here's a few more I got from www.chuck-norris-jokes.com:<br />
<br />
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.<br />
<br />
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.<br />
<br />
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.<br />
<br />
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.<br />
<br />
Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.<br />
<br />
Chuck Norris visited the "virgin" islands... when he left it was renamed to the islands.

sasxiv encouraged me!!!! Honest :)<br />
<br />
I just had a Chuck Norris day yesterday!!

I know - think i better stop or people will think i am obsessed :)

still laughing....