BILL Belamy/ Blue Collar Comedy

So my boyfriend and i went on a date tonight to a comedy club to see Bill Belamy.  It was a nice evening and Bill was so funny.  I hadnt really been too familiar with him before as i always got him mixed up with Chris Rock lol.   Anyways my next step is the Blue Collar Comedy Crew, I love those guys ...thought i would share a bit of comedy with you all. 

 

Jeff Foxworthy: I believe that if you let somebody cut in front of you in traffic and they don't give you the little "wave", it should be perfectly legal to get up underneath 'em, get 'em loose, and put 'em into the wall.
 


Ron White: I believe I'll have a scotch. Oh, wait, I've got one. Go ahead. Never mind.
 


Ron White: I Believe, that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody who's life gives them vodka, and have a party.
 


Larry The Cable Guy: I believe that sometimes you gotta wreck the truck to get the insurance money to make the truck payment.
 


Jeff Foxworthy: I believe you show me a three year old running around a flea market in his underpants drinking Coca-Cola out of a baby bottle, and I'll show you a future NASCAR fan.
 


Jeff Foxworthy: [to Larry, after Larry picks at his guitar] How old are you?
Larry The Cable Guy: Old enough to learn how to play this song.
Bill Engvall: Wait, when is your birthday?
Larry The Cable Guy: February 17th.
Jeff Foxworthy: No, what year is your birthday?
Larry The Cable Guy: ...Every year.
Bill Engvall: [to Jeff] You asked.
 


Female Audience Member: I LOVE YOU, LARRY!
Larry The Cable Guy: I told you to wait in the truck!
 


Larry The Cable Guy: I believe... that Britney Spears should be one of Baskin Robbins' 31 flavors.
Larry The Cable Guy: [laughing] Two scoops!
 


Larry The Cable Guy: I believe the Crippled stool is the Cadillac of the poopin' stool.
 


Larry The Cable Guy: I believe that guns don't kill people, husbands that come home early do.
 


Jeff Foxworthy: You ever seen a car sitting at a red light, and there's like, five guys in it? And all of a sudden all four windows go down and there's four guys hangin' out the car just cussing like crazy? And there's one guy sitting in the middle in the back just laughing. You know why he's laughing, he's cashed in his courtesy sniff! And the only thing that could make him happier was had he been driving and in control of the window lock.
 


Bill Engvall: I believe that the way to a man's heart is not through his stomach. It's a little further south.
 


Bill Engvall: I believe that the phrase "time in a bottle" refers to the amount of beer you can drink before last call.
 


Bill Engvall: I believe that if you want to wear a thong, you should have to go through an application process.
 


Ron White: [discussing his honeymoon] Man, the first time my wife and I made love... you ever heard of those screamers? Well, apparently she had never been with one before!

JUSTENTICEME JUSTENTICEME
31-35, F
Mar 14, 2009