Where Is My Eye Contact

Salsa is a dance of mixed emotions for me. Frequenting the clubs are salseros + salseras of all shapes and sizes, flavors and accents. What we have in common is a love for dance. What a beautiful way for people to come together.

We all begin as strangers, but the music comes and it ignites movement. It's uncontrollable. When two bodies are truly joined in rhythm, they share an intimacy with the music and each other that nothing else in this world can replace. It's a partnership: the shifts in weight, extending of hands, catching of turns.... each dancer relies on his/her partner to take them to the next step, to display their beautiful connection with the music. When I am really loving it, I cannot keep a huge smile from exuding. I'm sweating, my feet hurt, my hair is a mess ...but in almost all circumstances, I make no eye contact with my partner. This closeness lasts as long as the song will last.

When the song does end, the dancers abruptly part. Of course, there are cordial exchanges of "well done" or "save another dance for me" at this point. But ultimately, two people, once so in tune with one another from the heart, are strangers once again.

Eye contact would've brought too much reality to what just happened. The state of being strangers sharing 7-minutes of intimacy is too comfortable to let go.
m8gnolia m8gnolia
31-35, F
3 Responses Jul 27, 2007

Salsa dancing is very intimate and seductive. I used to dance salsa with my deceased wife it was wonderful. I want someone to dance with right now

Z - you're right to sense that Salsa is a very seductive and flirtatious dance. Sounds like your wife really enjoys the dance. Same way as I do. Women enjoy feeling sexy and dance is one way to do this. To me, dance is a primitive way of showing off your sexuality. It's a healthy way to do this: you get exercise, coordination, and arent contracting STDs. I dance with many great dancers and that doesnt change how I feel about my boyfriend. I return home telling my boyfriend stories of what a hot commodity I was on the dance floor! I think it's because of this that he is trusting of me.<br />
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There is nothing like a great dance with a good lead. There just isnt anything that can really compare when you love salsa. But again, it doesnt diminish my feelings for my boyfriend in any way. <br />
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I would suggest giving a go at learning salsa yourself! I would also suggest that you encourage her to be honest about what she is doing and how much she loves it. At the same time though, you should be supportive and non-judgmental. Keep your insecurities under control. You should be able to sense if she is honest with you.

So...my wife once again broke promises to stay home, and "suddenly found herself on the salsa dance floor" last night as she said in a text.<br />
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Same thing last week when she was supposed to stay home on Sunday. The night before, on Saturday night, she actually "ditched" me by going out on some supposed short activity in the evening, and returned at 2am. Calls and texts unanswered throughout, "I got a call from friends about dancing, and then I forgot my phone".<br />
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So last night I went to see what's the real story. Found her with Mr. Red Hat, dancing with him and him alone...over...and over... and over. LOTS of eye contact, lots of cheek to cheek, lots of keno between every dance (standing together and holding each other).<br />
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Eventually I revealed myself. Come to learn in the following minutes and hours that she was "4 or 5" (does that really mean 6, 8, 10?) men who routinely text her asking her out to dance. Oh...great. And this is what she does while out.<br />
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The story I've been getting for months? "I'm out practicing", "it's great exercise", etc. All true!<br />
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And all a pretty serious mis-representation of the real story, wouldn't you all say? Or am I wrong?<br />
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My take: she's getting "romanced". Not sexed; I'm convinced she isn't doing that, her claims of innocence seem honest in that regard. But she's hot for the attention of all these men, them wanting HER to be there for them, and she loves being their little hottie out on the floor.<br />
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And to get that, she's rather shatting on me and our agreements. All while keeping the true nature of what what she getting from the "salsa dancing" a secretive as she can. "Just dance...just exercise".<br />
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Sure looks like just getting romanced to me, under the synchronized sensual sway of salsa. <br />
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Thoughts, comments? Help!!!