Demi Is My Idol

I am bulimic. I suffer with it everyday. Sure I only throw up once a day but thats because I only eat once a day. Demi came out with her issues but I wasnt going through this at the time. I recently started to throw up my meals. I was cutting when she came out with her issues. She did inspire me to stop. I only stopped for a while. I was being bullied. People would say Im fat but my friends told me I wasnt. One person told me my stomach wasnt fat but my thighs were. Now one ir two comments from people you dont care about arnt going to do much damage. Then my friends started making jokes about it too. I used to laugh at them but later I would slice my wrist. I once thought about killing myself. But then I looked at my wall and saw many of Demi's eyes looking at me and I knew if she could do it so could I. I recently started throwing up Infact It started on the two year anniversery that demi came out of treatment. Before that date I was starving myself since two weeks before thanksgiving. She trys to help people not fall into eating disorders but theres nothing you can do about a mental disorder. I look up to her for strength even though Im not strong enough to get help like she did. Im not strong enough to admit I need help. In a way I dont want help but i also do want to be healthy.
Lovaticlove32 Lovaticlove32
13-15, F
Feb 7, 2013