I Am A Submissive Male And My Wife Is Vanilla

Ever since I was a teen the thought of woman sexually controlling me has turned me on. When people have joked about whips and chains or strap-ons it has always secretly excited me. At one point I used to go to an S&M bar with a friend out of curiosity, but I think deep down I really wanted to meet a dominant woman. I have been trained on-line and was turned on every second. I want to be collard. I think I suppressed my desires for dominant woman because of how my friends talked about BDSM, they seemed to think it was not acceptable.

Now I am in my thirties, married, and with a wife who is purely vanilla. I recently revealed my desires to her and she was a bit upset. She said she was willing to trying anything to make me happy because she loves me. she has never revealed a kinky side and we have been toghether for seven years. It does not seem to turn me on if she truly is not dominant, I want the real thing. So, I am torn about leaving her. She is a great person and I would miss her vary much and she would be devastated. I love her but am not in love with her as she is in love with me. Yet I think of finding a dominant woman all the time and being her submissive lover or ****.
coresubfive coresubfive
2 Responses Feb 10, 2011

It's difficult I agree, I'm a switch (both dom and sub) and am in a relationship with a very dominating partner.. which I love.....most of the time... But I would love nothing more than to indulge in my fantasy of being dominant. Although, he's told me he'll give it a go.... he can't let his dominant side slip... He truly is a dominant male and the thought of giving up control to me freaks him out.. I deal with it, by letting my dom side out online and my sub side out with him :)

Hope you make the right decision x

I am in a similar position. Here's how I handle it. I write about my fantasies and share them on line. I join and participate in relevant EP groups. And, I find a professional domme who I trust and enjoy submitting to. It has been a bit of trial and error. But I've had some good relationships, including one in which we had enough mutual experience and trust that we went beyond the "usual rules" of pro domme. (Send me an e-mail at magrooder@hotmail dot com if you want more details.) I never tell my wife and I do not engage in activities that could result in adverse health consequences for her. But, these give me sufficient outlets that I am satisfied.