A Life-long Habit

I do love DXM, as far as any drugs go, but I am in treatment and I'm going to abstain from all drugs for the rest of my life. It's been quite a wild ride, with my first and last drug being DXM, because it's older than me, the most available, and most importantly, I liked it the most out of everything I ever tried, which is alot. I won't make this too long, but DXM was my favorite. Why? I'll tell you: Hallucinations, distorted sense of time, story-like dream-like experiences, warm, forgiving feelings of love, euphoria, floating-rotating sensations, enhanced musical experiences, "ah-ha" moments, seeming like you know everything, the story of the world, what people are about to say, and much more. Everyone in treatment is like, "Robitussin? Why didn't you just do acid?" Well I have done acid. I liked it, but telling me you can substitute the two is like telling a snowman he can get a sunburn. First of all, LSD is a tryptamine and DXM is a disassociative. Day and night, in the drug world. Anyways, some of my experiences with DXM have been: floating out of my body, and ending up in places like a friends car, driving around town, having a conversation, while my body was in my room at home. Also, I turned into a tree, and could feel all the little critters and birds around me and it felt like a million years. Another time, I encountered a spirit who told me her name was Flowers, and she kept giving me advice on relationship matters. For some reason (and I've held this discussion with other users in treatment) DXM always seems to want to bring you to your family. Being around your family is so weird on DXM! I never wanted to "hang-out" with my parents? But sometimes in that altered state, I'd saunter down from my room with those robot legs and attempt to talk to them. It's impossible to look normal on D, in the amounts I was taking. But I felt like they had all the answers. Another kid I knew never wanted to talk to his sister, except when he was sloshed on Dex. Ah well, another time I saw a giant Christmas tree with changing ornaments on it, a snake-like, clear orb followed me home like the "time spear" in Donnie Darko, I've seen flowers grow all around me, and I thought my dad was a 10-year-old kid. He looked so much younger than me; it was confusing to say the least. The craziest time of all was when I thought I had traveled to ancient times for 3 days and 3 nights (but it was only one night, of course) and I believed we were a peasant family and the town was mad at me for stealing Zicam and drinking it and tripping so they were coming to my house with torches like a big angry mob, to stone me and what not, burn me at the stake or something. And I laughed, because I knew that, sure, they could kill me, but matter is never created or destroyed. I've always been here, and I always will be. That's accepting reality. They would think I was dead, but they'd be wrong. I'm no more alive than I am dead. Just different forms. And I also thought that the world we live in now everyday is "not real". Go figure. Well, since I am addict, and not just a normal experimentor, drugs ruin my life. Other people can have fun a couple of times and move on, but me, I use everyday, overdose, drop out of school, lose my job, end up in treatment, hurt my family. So I got to quit for good, or else I'm going to die. Ya, that's right, you didn't forget that DXM could kill you right? Well, that's my story. I hope it was interesting. Be safe, kids. Much love.

22-25, M
3 Responses Feb 15, 2009

Control. Key word here. <br />
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DXM personally helps me learn from these kind of experiences. We are all matter, but in order to have a pleasant physical embodiment experience, we have to take care of our physical selves. Then when we pass on into the spiritual existence, it is so much nicer.<br />
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I'm sorry if I sound crazy, but I have to admit that I am a DXM addict and it has opened my mind to many things.

I've been sober for 18 months since I posted this.

dude... buzzkill at the end...