EP Giving Me Strength During a Moment of Need.

 

I don't know how I would of done it without you

 

When my life became nil, I was totally disabled in every sense of the word. 

 

Mentally, physically,emotionally, financially, spiritually and isolated. 

 

After 10 yrs of crack and alcohol abuse, I had to recover in every manner.  With nothing left to my name except my full of illnesses, I lived with my fathers at the age of 49. I was starting my life over with nothing. 

 

Considering he's a wealthy upper class entitled white male, Romain Catholic, dry drunk, same old narcissistic ***-hole, far right republican die-hard, it wasn't pretty.  The dysfunction was the same as it was growing up, except now he only hit me emotionally, not physically.  He bought more points going to heaven, and looked even better at mass as a loving father.

 

So, I spent my day doing nothing except watch the boob tube and lots of documentation on imprisonment.

Then I bought my lap-top. And a game..........that I spent every minute of my waking hrs playing.  Until I found EP.

 

EP brought good people and best friends into my life.  Until then I had no-one.  Connecting with people I knew during my active addiction was not an option.

 

EP turned out to be the best therapy I ever had.  And I've had decades of it. It took me a few times of signing in over a period of a month to get started. Then in another 30 days I wrote 50 stories and made 250 comments.  I couldn't shut-up.  I continued on and am still going strong.  By now I have made some very dear friendships and it's been the beginning of a new life because of it.  I have taken steps toward my personal growth that I never would of been able to in therapy.  And I'm a happier, more productive person because of it. I'm grateful to be alive.

 

After 1 & 1/2yrs learning how to deal with my father as an adult, I was finally able to find a home of my own.  My place was perfect.  All my needs were met.  With my fibromyalgia, I need help with basic care.  Someone to do the cleaning and laundry.  Transportation for medical apts, and a scooter for long distances.  I have meals on wheels to eat a healthier diet and a 2nd transportation to do any daily activities.  In other words, I won't be isolated.

 

And then someone would knock on my door, but by the time I reached it they were gone.  We're talking about less than 30 sec. of time span.  My neighbor and I would joke about the hallway ghost.  Except her knocks were happening at 3am in the morning. 

 

Time continued on and my life became a living hellLiterally!  Having stupid ghosts wondering through my place playing games, to the other end of the spectrum consisting of rage full Native Americans, demons, never ending lost souls and Angels coming to guard me....  I can not put into words how my life became more than a nightmare.  PTSD would explain the severity of it all.  I have fought the demons mentally & physically. I have had my family priest come out twice.  A holy woman filled with God's Grace spent time with me at my home a few times.  I also have a large team of ghost busters working on it.  We have documentation of high-tech specialty meters, still pics and live video for proof.  Just check out my blog and you will see some of it.  This is a serious warning.  Don't take a look if your spiritually weak.

 

I've left my place 1 & 1/2 months ago staying at my different dtrs home and I'm looking for a new residence.  I can't leave the place as it is tho.  And the cleansing would not only be for my apt., but also the whole bldg.  I have seen enough to know demons are in every home on my floor.  I pray to God it stops there.  The Native Americans are rage full because the bldg is built on sacred burial ground.  There's 3 main portals that these entities use to enter my apartment.  The never ending souls come through a door in the living room corner my couch is in.  The demons come through a door located in the corner of the bedroom where my bed is. There is also a door in through my bathroom shower head where I've seen Angels, demons, and wondering ghost.

 

I haven't been able to openly discuss this with people for all the obvious reason, plus I would pay repercussions for doing so.

 

I've taken a very large risk in sharing this with my EP friends on my blog.  The out-pour of prayers and support have been over whelming & heaven sent.  I feel stronger and the activity I've been personally dealing with away from home have just as good dissipated.

 

I want to say with my whole heart Thank You. I'm doing so much better now.  Please keep the prayers and support coming.  I love you all for doing so.

 

WarriorMom

WarriorMom WarriorMom
51-55, F
33 Responses Feb 15, 2009

Love you too,<br />
may God ease your suffering and may those around you start treating you with the respect you deserve.<br />
Your a wonderful person and I hope you know that and remember that each time your feeling sad or lonely.<br />
May your angels watch over you.

I love you Mypossibilities. Your stregnth has been a God Send to me also.

Bless you Sweetie.<br />
Life will get better for you, I promise. Just hang in there and keep writing.<br />
Your experiences are thoughtfully written and have taught me how to deal with some things I didn't know how.<br />
You are loved and thought of often and your life is worth living. Cause you are a star!

Thank you pin up. The good years are worth a million. I've been spending time with my daughters and grandkids and have been in my glory!!!!!!!!!<br />
Thanks again.

I'm here.. Sound like you have a gift as well as a curse. You have a lot to deal with after years of addiction. I hope the good ones can help.

Thanks Tekkamaki, that feels good to hear..........

Amazing story! (A little off topic but I ran into angry spirits too living close to an old native american reservation. It was a very scary time...The area was full of dangerous racism and the ghosts were actually telling us to move away. They calmed when I told them we would.) <br />
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(On topic, lol) I am very happy that you are on the road to healing! Thank you for sharing your life with us! HUGS!!

Thank You dizzi, & Thank You for the love and support. I count on your prayers :)<br />
<br />
Neveah, I miss you too! Please call!!

Gosh lady, I have got to call you. <br />
I miss ya anyways.

You were one of my first ep fiends. I am lucky to have met someone like you...You know I pray for you at the shrine, I will put a word in for the house too...Keep up that positive attitude, it will give you what you want!!!<br />
Blessing and hugs..

Your right, I have found lots of love and strength, given by others. and I hope to give in return. Thanks..........

You have come through a lot. You're surviving, and also enjoying some time for yourself - that's great! As for the past, it's not for us to regret the only Story we have lived, but it doesn't have to control what we do with our future. I bet you have a lot of love & strength to give to those around you who are still learning how to cope.

ladee.....Always!......xxxxx:)<br />
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i love you too jerrica!!!

you're a true inspiration for us all. love ya!

Thanks longrun, I really appriciate you support.

I know Sweetie. Always and forever!

I'm proud of you for showing the strength to share that. <br />
You know that I'm here for you. ((((HUGS))))

Thanks Nyxie.....<br />
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Hi Babydoll, I've been missing you. Too funny cuz I was just telling your sister I haven't heard from you lately. I love you too Sweetie! xoxoxoxoxoxo

God bless and stay safe, my friend.

your very wise jenny. Thank You.

ALL ways remember something things that we go through life. take it as an experience and hold on to it so by that. it will make you a better person each time.This way we always remember that the choices that we make in our lives reflect the way we will live our life,and with all that life has thrown at us I truely believe we are ready to make better choices in our lives,just because we are a better person,love you always your friend Jennyc.

Ladee, are you kidding? You continue to be there for me, even when there's silence on EP.<br />
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Hi jennyc...it's nice to see you! Thank You, I love You!

hi warriormom is me your friend jennyc the one that will never abanded you the one that you can talk to anytime,remember my story I had to challenge allot of things in my life, sexual abuse from my stepdad and my reall mom she also raped me,and if it wase'nt for the support in experience project and my theraphist I truelly would be depressed,all the time.

Thanks stephen, that makes me feel proud.

Thanks kaz. That's such a high compliment. I'll have to picker on the being stronger tho. This experience has its wear & tear that goes with it

Having come through all you've come through, you're a far stronger person & as i've said before, you've got more guts than me - you're a star & we all know it!

Thank you ladee. These two simple words just does not seem to say enough. Please know it comes from my heart.

All of your comments have touched my heart with warmth. I Love You.

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Thank You for all you have shared and given of your self

Your story is incredible and your friendship equally valued by those of us lucky enough to know you. You may have gained a lot from EP, but don't forget, you've also given with your whole heart. And it is a very big heart. Thank you.

Tahnks Sis, I Love You Too!<br />
Thanks celtic for the blessing and love.

It's my pleasure sister, I love you!