The Arrangement

So here's the deal, I'm a guy who happens to have an incredibly strong feminine side. I also happen to be transgendered, which according to wikipedia means:

...the state of one's gender identity (self-identification as woman, man, neither or both) not matching one's assigned sex (identification by others as male, female or intersex based on physical/genetic sex).[1] Transgender does not imply any specific form of sexual orientation.

I'm happily married to an incredibly supportive, understanding and loving wife who accepts me for who I am.

Now, on to the story. Several years ago, when I first revealed my "femme self" to my wife, we went through a bit of a rough patch. It took a lot of soul searching, sleepless nights, grief and fear but ultimately, we both survived and discovered that our relationship had grown much stronger as a result.

How did this happen? Well, I was finally able to come to terms with the fact that I have a nuturing, caring, loving and "feminine" soul. Not sure how else to describe it, but from an early age, this has always been the case.

Anyway, what I've discovered is that after several years of being in a relationship, that each partner in the relationship must fulfill a certain role.

I don't believe that there is such a thing as a "masculine" or "feminine" roles within relationships. In a partnership, it's all about working together to create balance and long term happiness for you and your spouse.

Which brings me to my role as the "housewife" within our marriage. My wife is naturally driven, and quite succesful within her position, and honestly I am very proud of all of her accomplishments.

What I have discovered about myself, is that I naturally gravitate towards the domestic, the nesting, the cleaning, & caretaking.

I also believe that due to my feminine persona (Jill), being dressed as a housewife while performing my household duties only enhances my productivity, and gets me into the proper mindset of fullfilling my role as the housewife within my marriage.

It's my personal belief that, whether male or female, fullfilling the supportive role in any relationship is an incredibly important responsibility.

With this being the very beginning of my journey, I've found that I have been able to understand my spouse in ways that most "normal" dudes can't.

So this story, is one part confession, and one part statement.

For all of you out there who are in a similar situation, or struggle with who you are, just remember, there is a reason for it. It's all about having the courage to find the answers.

All the best,


jillthecalihousewife jillthecalihousewife
26-30, T
3 Responses Jan 16, 2013

It's great to see that a true partnership is possible, whatever form it takes. It's difficult to be truly intimate with someone whom you hide part of yourself from.

Wonderful story, I too am transgender and live as a woman full time. I have met a man here who also has a feminine side and he wants me to join him as his wife. For me it would be a dream come true and I plan to accept his proposal when I finish my hormone treatments

Pinkswoman...... may I ask if you finished your hormone treatments and accepted his offer to be his wife?... I'd love to hear more about it.

Jill, that was such a thoughtful, incredible, and insightful analysis of your relationship with your wife. I hope she loves you all the more.