when I was in sixth grade I really started believing in god. My mom had been diagnosed with breast cancer, and then the doctors didn't think she would make it. and i prayed and prayed, and then in 7th grade my best friend was a strong christian in tought me a lot. I have always felt like i'm going to hell though.. I lost my virginity and had sex before with 3 guys that I thought really cared about me. I have smoked. BUT with all that being said. I don't do anything like that anymore. I pray and ask for forgiveness.. it still haunts me to this day of all my mistakes. I feel miserable. but I feel like god, doesn't love me sometimes.