This Is My Story And This Is What I Believe

I thank God up above with all my heart and all my soul for who and what I am because without his wish and will it would not be possible in any way shape or form that's for sure now I do not know in any way shape or form if I'm going to go to heaven or hell when I die only God knows for sure because I never considered me a Bible thumper what I consider a Bible thumper to be is a person that can quote the Bible from front to back and goes to church every single Sunday I do believe in God and the father and the son and the Holy Spirit with all my heart and all my soul believe you me and I do believe in the Bible and what is written in the Bible and I know it says in the Bible somewhere it says who ever shall believe in my shall dwell in the house of the Lord for ever and ever and I do believe that I truly do but somebody told me once that even when Jesus was nailed to the cross that even Jesus didn't know if he was going to go to heaven or not now where this person came up with this I do not know but until I heard that from a person I always believed that if I had to God in my heart I would go to heaven but now I'm not so sure the reason I say that is because I do not pray to God as much as I should or need to or want to I do not go to church I definitely do not read the Bible but I do believe in the word of God and I also heard somewhere that you should pray in the name of Jesus Christ so that really confuses me shed I prayed to God or to Jesus Christ I always thought it was God I was praying to and should pray to but they said that you cannot get to God without going through Jesus so I am not now I'm totally confused
I was never mad or angry or upset in any way shape or form because I was born disabled it's nobody's fault as far as I'm concerned I just ended up that way so I just accepted it and went on with my life as best as I can it is nobody's fault that people can not and will not accept me for who and what I am I just figured that they are the ones with the problems not me and it's true now that I have been sick or three months now and it really scares the hell out of me that's for sure but it seems to me that nobody I mean absolutely nobody is taking this seriously the only one that knows what I'm going through is God above that's for sure I heard a preacher say one that if it's good it's God and if it's bad it's from the devil good God bad the devil so my suffering so bad is because the devil is trying to get to my devil all comes between people and God in my opinion because the devil cannot stand seeing people happy he always has two step in and make people's lives miserable that's what I think anyway and when a person is sick as long as I have been sick things go through my mind all the time like it is my relationship with God as strong as I hope it is or think it is because I believe in the word of God and the Bible I do not go to church or read the Bible or pray as much as I should or need to or should because I cuss and I swear and I use God's name in vain which I don't think is cool but I do it anyway why I have no freaking idea so maybe just maybe that is why I'm so sick and suffering and cannot breathe and I'm totally freaked out to the max I have a doctors appointment again on Monday I really hope he can tell me exactly what is wrong with my ear that is affecting my nose that is why I can't breathe right and that's exactly what's freaking me out to the max believe you me
computerfreak computerfreak
46-50, M
3 Responses Jan 12, 2013

hi computerfreak, just checking in to say hello and hope you are having a good day today. So many of us out here support you. God bless you - I am praying for you :)

hello computerfreak. Whoever told you that Jesus didnt know if He was going to Heaven or Hell even when He was on the cross... was a confused person and did not know the truth. Try not to let people sway you, you are correct in knowing that when you believe and have the Holy Spirit in your heart, you are going to Heaven. God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit...whatever name you choose to use.
Dont worry about who you should pray to. I pray to God, I pray to Jesus, I pray to the Holy Spirit. They are the Trinity. Three in One. It doesn't matter if you pray to God, Jesus or the Holy Spirit... or all three.
It is not always the devil. Disease, sickness, disability etc can be just because of the fallen world. It is not always the devil. hate, disturbance, lying etc... can just be because of the spirit of man. The devil, the spirit of man are not of God.
Praying daily is essential for us to find peace, to find what God wants us to do, to change our fears to faith, our tears to joy, our pain to health... prayer and communion with God will change you to be more like Christ. You will find more and more strength, inner peace, joy, understanding, wisdom (etc etc) as you submit everyday to Him.
You are hurting and suffering A LOT!! AND yes only God knows how much you are suffering. If you would like to find help with understanding God and how God loves you and cares for you, you will always find help by listening to Dr. Charles Stanley. He is very straight forward, right down the middle type of communicator. In Touch Ministries on the web, you can listen to sermons whenever you want about whatever you want help with. Dr. Charles Stanley is very much an encourager and helps us along our pathway to becoming more Christ-like and less fearful etc. Have a super day!

I do believe that you love God and you certainly have holy desires that must be pleasing to God.

I also believe that some of the things that people have told you are not correct. For example, Jesus most certainly knew on the Cross that He was going to heaven. He even said to the man crucified beside HIm, "I assure you, today you will be with Me in Paradise."

The question of suffering is an interesting one because certainly, before sin entered the world there was no suffering. But Jesus willingly submitted to suffering in order to redeem the world. And we can join with Him in the mission of saving souls by uniting our sufferings to His.

There are other reasons why God permits sufferings, including your present illness. One is to bring us face to face with the reality of our mortality and to prepare ourselves to meet God when we die. We can amend our lives, stop using God's name in vain, show God more respect by honouring Him in our home. We can offer our sufferings and illness in reparation for our sins and start talking more to God on a daily basis. If we are not baptised, we can attend to that as well, as baptism is very important.

I am praying for you for a speedy diagnosis and recovery, and also that you are able to draw closer to God in your spiritual life. God bless.

thanks god bless your day my friend