BuddiesTwo friends were in a bar celebrating. Had been drinking many hours and one of them got sick and before he could get to the bathroom, he threw up all over himself. He said: "Awww man! My wife is gonna kill me. This is a brand new shirt she just bought me!" His friend said: "Here's what you do... put a twenty dollar bill in your shirt pocket, and when you go home, tell her some drunk did this, and gave you the twenty for the cleaning." So the other agreed and they continued drinking into the wee hours of the morning.
When this man finally went home, he was totally wasted and he walks in the house trying to sneak in quietly. But his wife had been waiting for him. She immediately began remonstrating about his shirt. He stopped her in mid-sentence and said, "w-w-w-wait a minute b-babeee, hyoo don unnerstan... sum drunk trew up on me and gave me twenty for da cleanin' bill." She reached in his pocket, pulled the money out and said, "but there is forty dollars here." He stopped, and thought for a minute and said, "Oh! yeah, thas right, he crapped in my pants tooo!"