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Giving Unconditionally.

I have taken the mindset and practice of giving 100% unconditionally. My philosophy has been " no expectations and no regrets." Essentially, your good deeds dont make you a good person and wont make people like you and the idea of good karma is nonsense... karma is just karma not bad nor good .... its just karma and depending on where you are at with yourself whether you can find the gratitude in your own karma that you recieve. Everday living is learning this lifes lessons.
A tough lesson with unconditional giving is learning when and how to say no... When to recognize that inner-voice that doesnt whole heartedly feel freely to give. Charity begins at home is what my father used to say.... If you are inconvienced you are giving more than you can afford to freely give. Inconvience breeds resentment.
Resentment giving????
I give without explainations, judgement (maybe should judge), without regard, and always without expectations...... so my philosophy has served me well...
However I have a resentment about giving three days ago....
This person at the gas station approached me in need. Their destination was a bit of a distance and their vehicle was out of fuel...
Perhaps my overgenerousity or giving beyond my means has created my resentment.... I gave this person $20 Maybe I "expected" a overwhelming reaction or gratitude from giving so freely to stranger. Instead of a big thank you.... All I heard was a "can you loan me maybe twenty more dollars.... please..... I can mail it back to you if you give me your address.... come on please...." I had to explain my financial situation to get this person off my leg!
I went next door to McDonalds drivethru and watched this person approach other patrons too.
Three days later and Its on my mind as I write this here.

bttmboibibri bttmboibibri 36-40 Jul 22, 2012

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