I Can't Stop Loving Her

I've been in love to a friend of mine since pretty much I met her three years ago. But at the time she was in a relationship with a friend of mine, so I tried to block my feelings for her... I felt I would betray my friend if I felt something for his girlfriend.

I got along with her really well, we always had a lot of fun together, we became really good friends. When she broke up with my friend, I felt how my feelings for her were arising again, until my friend used me as kleenex and made me feel bad for feeling something for her...

I ended up blocking my feelings...

I went to another city to go to college... and she stayed back home in high school, since she is a couple of years younger.

A few months back I recieved some photos from my prom... and there it was... a picture of us.... she'd been my prom date... and when I saw that picture... all my feelings for her rised out of the bottom of my heart.

Since then I've been trying to go out wit her sometimes, talk with her a little more... but I had not accomplished much.

Until a few days back were I finally contacted her, told her I was going back to town for the weekend so I asked her if she wanted to go out. She said yes, I flipped out.

I promised myself I would tell her all how much I love her that night, right after I took her to her house.

That night, I picked her up, went for a ride, walked a little, dinner... we talked all the while, maybe some quiet moments (I'm not very social, so I can't find many themes to talk about), but I can honestly say that I never felt that she was uncommfortable or bored. All in all, I think we had a nice time.

And when we were in the car, outside her house, talking... I was just trying to get the courage to tell her my feelings.... we kept talking, fooled around a bit. Then she said she really needed to go and got out of the car.

I followed her to the door... she opened it, said she had a fun time, wished me goodnight... and when she was about to close the door behind her I screamed "wait!".

She opened the door with a curios face, "what?". I couldn't say a thing, I just kept staring at her... then all I could think of was to laugh and say "oh, sorry, bad memory, I wanted to tell you something but I forgot what it was". She just laughed a little and went "ook..".. wished me goodnight again, said goodbye, and closed the door.

As soon as I got home I literally hit my head to the wall... I couldn't say it!!.. Two words had never been so difficult to say. I couldn't believe myself.

I really want-.. no... need to tell her my feelings.. face to face. I'm pretty sure she already knows the I feel something for her.. I'm not too discrete... but what's the point of it?? I want to tell her in person!

I feel like I need to do it... but I just can't gather enought courage.

I don't know what to do... I don't want to give up... but I don't wanna wait anymore... I don't want theses feelings to stay bottled up.

I don't even mind if she doesn't love me back... I just want her to know that I love her, deeply... that I don't expect anything back from her.. I just need for her to know that.

IsolatedStorm IsolatedStorm
1 Response Mar 1, 2009

so nice.. what is your updates?