Safe Caution -

Craptacular Ending. Almost two years ago, an event happened that caused a relationship to go into disarray, blah blah blah...

Let's move on to now hm?

Truth is, I love her. That feeling has not and will not fade away. Unless she turns into a Vampire that hunts for sport, then I'd have to stake her down.

However, after such a debacle, how is it that I can continue to do so after what had happened? Why would I continue to have her in my Life still and attempt to go at it again (slowly now; not rushing into an exclusive relationship while we both figuring things out)?

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Imagine, if you will, having the courage to love completely. I am talking about total vulnerability, where every time you thought of the person, your Life got a bit more livelier, colorful, more assured.

Imagine that this person, you can imagine sharing a lot with; life experiences, sunrises and sunsets, gaming voyages, chocolate covered strawberries, laying down on a bed and just listening to music together and enjoying it.

Imagine that you had pictured this person in your head before ever speaking with them or seeing them with your own eyes either through camera or in person. That a lot of premonition was done beforehand and brought you two together in a way that can only be described as 'Divine'.

If you could prove magic exists, would you? If it only worked for yourself and the other person involved, would you risk it to see if it worked?

It is a whole lot of that and more. Forgiveness has happened, the event has not been forgotten, and I am taking precaution.

How?

By being more honest as to what my desires are for in a relationship; with myself; with what my wants and desires are and just being more sure of who I am.

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There is a fear or a concern going through my head though.

Concern is that she does not believe me. Does not believe that I could forgive her, that things could not actually be that easy. That it would be too difficult.

Fear... is that she does not believe herself. That she is afraid she will hurt me again. That there are still questions to answer, uncertainties that are still up in the air.

And they are legit concerns. I still have mine.

Heaven, there is a piece of me that is just terrified and afraid of the possibility of being hurt again. Just the possibility scares me.

But if I do not have Faith in her, how will she ever have Faith or Trust that I have forgiven?

Again, tomorrow I might receive a message she is seeing someone else or maybe a Natalie Portman-look-a-like with a great personality meets up with me and we hit it up.

But for now, I have Faith and gathering Courage.

It's the only way to fully understand the Soul of the World.

LysanderFremont LysanderFremont
26-30, M
Aug 19, 2014