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Heroin Cured My Alcoholism

Yeah I know I swapped the witch for the ***** but really, my drinking was getting so messy I wanted to die so heroin kinda gave me a reprieve by giving me something to obsess about and want to live for. Yes this is sad and ****** up and so am I...It is about 3 months since I wrote the above lines.I reached such a state of anxiety filled pain and isolation recently that I crawled back in to an N.A meeting and thank God I did .There is a bit of hope back in my life and I am around people who get me and who I get.It feels like my real life is just starting.Anyone feeling like me who perhaps (also like me ,gave the 12 step fellowship a look but did not return) ,should maybe do what I did and even out of sheer curiosity,give the fellowship another try.2ND INSTALLMENT- NA A REAPPRAISAL AFTER A COUPLE OF MONTHS GETTING SOME CLARITY OF THOUGHT BACK. Well it has been about 3 months since I last posted here and a lot has happened. I went  through a'honeymoon period 'of really getting in to NA  meetings and then got some real reservations building mainly about the cult like insistence of doing the 12 steps or , more to the point ,surrendering  to the 12 steps and often to person or persons in NA ,namely your sponsor. I do not believe I am powerless over my addiction and do not believe in a GOD or higher power being the only way to restore my sanity. I read a critique of AA called 'The Orange Papers' which pretty much encapsulated my own reservations with the cult that is 12 step fellowships . If you are really interested in my blog  and what I have to say, please google "The  Orange Papers" and give it a real good read. It is a very comprehensive study of AA , its history and founder Bill Williams[who was a chronic 13 stepper-(taking advantage of vulnerable newcomers and basicly ******* them), who died of emphysema due to his tobacco addiction]. The figures on AA s long term success rate were ,(excuse the pun),sobering,it turns out you have a better chance of achieving long term sobriety by NOT DOING AA MEETINGS AT ALL!Look do not take my word for it , check out AA s OWN FIGURES of success rate.So ,what is good about AA and,more specificly for me ,NA?Well it was a great way to reaqaint  myself with the human race, part of the nature of heroin abuse, is that you end up a chronic social isolater, mainly due to its, (unlike alcohol), illegality and demonisation and social unacceptabilty.Also, like most heroin users , (a NON criminal  to support habit user, I was really broke ALL the time. The only succesful heroin users are dealers , rock stars, people on high incomes ,( lawyers, doctors , judges, successful businessman). Most of the negative issues involving heroin are its ILLEGALITY,if it was legal, you would end the crime, the deaths , the sociall pariah status and you would find in fact ,that the amount of addicts would actually go down over time.In countries where the drug laws are more liberal around heroin use, the amount of users has not gone up ,(sweden) , they have stayed about the same, but the deaths associated with using heroin have virtually ceased, beacause you are no longer using  alone or in an unsupervised environment  and an unknown purity.The really shameful fact about all this is that governments and societys would rather it be a death sentence to  use heroin. There a lot of grieving relatives and friends ,whose loved ones have died needlessly because of hypocritical governments   and societys, who think it is acceptable to allow tens of thousands of people to die a year worldwide, because people choose to use heroin. Whatever your views on heroin and its usage, it should NOT be a death sentence. 

lezstar lezstar 46-50, M 8 Responses Nov 23, 2009

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tried to stop drinking but could'nt sleep and was very depressed and anxious, and found heroin helped with all these problems, but i have spent the last 5 years on it or on a program.

just to add to the only "successful" heroin users. the seller/user is only successful for a short amount of time. when you start shooting all your profits you know something is seriously wrong. it doesnt take long at all to do that with heroin either. not to mention it completely wrecks your train of thought.

Hear so much of what you're saying. I'd already smoked opium and was used to opiate based painkillers, but when I decided to stop using drugs and sort my life out, removing the drugs just revealed what was underneath - alcoholism, and I couldn't stop that...I wasn't a drunk, I just drank. I drank to be normal and not drinking meant I got ill...if I didn't drink Icouldn't think....



Heroin cured my alcohol dependence too.



I'm clean two years this August. I tried NA too, and like you, I found it impossible if I wasn't willing to deny what I believe, deny that I believe there is no higher power than a person's own will and that it was that will which got me to NA in the first place...



That said, I ain't anything against people who partake in either NA / AA or the 12 steps. Each to their own.



And, maybe most of all, I hear what you say on how heroin shouldn't be a death sentence. I've seen people die, not just as a result of heroin, but at the hands of doctors who've administered too much methadone too.



I hope you're doing well, and cheers for the post.

never was much for groups.....i talked to ppl here on ep.........it helped alot....thank you



still clean if you don't count the pot

I gave it a try...it saved my sanity. But, since, I have been losing my faith in them, haven't been to one in a year or so. Except for my weekly NicA, if that counts. Still clean. Sane? Hmmmm...?

THE BEAST IS ALWAYS LURKING AROUND THE CORNER

interesting . . . i've seen so many circuitous routes people take in and around different substances. and those of us with multiple addictions have them in all different orders of magnitude ;)

i never shot heroin but snorted it a lot, toward the end of my using everything. (this was 20 years ago ;D) my best friend brought me to the fellowship, we'd started substances together when we were 12.

Wow at least u r getting better. n_n so how did u end up being an alcoholic?