I've never told anyone any of this!
I'm not entirely sure how it all started. I believe i had tried on heeled shoes before, but the first pair that i can say i owned were stolen. Aged 13, I delivered a free newspaper in the village where i grew up and they were sitting on the doorstep. 2 inch chunky heeled black knee high lace up boots. I dont know what came over me and i dont know why i picked them up but i did. At the end of the road there was a small secluded area of trees, to my surprise they fitted so i walked. It was a quiet path and the only people i saw were cycling in the other direction so couldn't have noticed those boots under my jeans. All the time i was so nervous but there was something about the heel that felt??? i don't know, only people who enjoy heels can probably understand. I kept those boots for years and soon wore them out just with my occasional secret walkabouts.
There were a few other shoes in between all with chunky heels, some were strappy, one pair of ankle boots but none of them made me feel as special, untill,
When I was 18 i bought a pair, from a shop. I told them that it was for a party, all the guys were supposed to go dressed as women and all the women were going dressed as guys, just for fun. I'm sure they didn't believe me. they tried to sell me cheeper shoes but i'd seen the ones i wanted. i'd seen them every time i walked pased, it was like they were calling to me. 3 inch spiky heel black zip up knee high boots. This was my first spiky stilleto style heel. It took months of practice in my parents house, while they were out of course, before i was almost confident. When i took those boots out for our first proper walk i felt wonderfull. the thought of them still makes me tremble today, 15 years later.
Once i'd bought my first pair there was no stopping me. i could buy any shoes i could afford, which wasn't that many but if i bought a pair and the heel wasn't high or spiky enough the special feeling wasn't as great.
Occasionally, for fear of being caught i would throw them away. but i keep buying them. I love that feeling. nothing else does it. believe me, i've tried!
Wow, there's a weight off my chest!