Last year, we were together- we never kissed, but we were passionate in every other way. He had...some family issues last year that he had to deal with. I wanted to love him and just be with him so badly. The months after went by and I assumed he had forgotten about me, he got a girlfriend (who I loathed) and then they went off to college and parted. I never got over him... a year passed. He kept popping into my life in random spots, right when I had moved on. He showed up at resturants sitting behind me, at shows...everything. But, I tried to move on he was in college now, and there was no chance anymore.

This year, I had finally gotten over him...or so I thought. On Valentine's Day my dad was bored and wanted to do something new, so he booked us a flight to LA. I was...pretty much in shock. But I went along with it, our flight was a little delayed and we got the last two seats on the flight. The cab driver then took us a weird way to get to the hotel, and he could have turned off another street blocks earlier, but he didn't. I had been texting the entire time then looked up to notice a beautiful woman in a red dress with this rather scabby looking guy. I wondered why they were together. I then looked at the corner where three guys were sitting alone on Valentines day. My eyes weren't adjusted from my cell phone light yet. I then recognized the boy closest to the street. It was him. I'm sure I looked red, but we were in the taxi and soon left the spot. I texted (lets call him John) John, he then called me and we had a short little conversation about...well nothing really. Then the next day he texted me if I was free, and I said yes- of course. And met him in the afternoon at his campus. He gave me a lovely tour, and I met his friends, and many other random things.

Remember...I hadn't seen John in about 6 months, and was sure he had completely forgotten about me, and I live two states away normally.

He offered to drive me back to my hotel, and of course I couldn't pass this up...I was still in shock. His company wasn't awkward at all, he was perfect... like usual. We talked and talked. I then got to my hotel and reluctantly got out of the car. He got out too to give me a hug. And we hugged, his hugs were always amazing. I didn't want to let go, so as soon as he did I clung on. He then kissed my cheek, which loosened me a little thinking that was my signal to go, then he kissed me... he actually kissed me. He pulled back to see my reaction, then I kissed him back...and we kissed...and kissed more. Then rested our foreheads on each other. He said he'd wanted to do that a while, this whole year he's been waiting. It was fate that we saw each other, and I came to LA, and He was on the corner. He looked into my eyes and told me that he was going to spend all of his time with me when school ended. I didn't know what to do, and impulsively I hugged him and said "I love you." I don't know what I was thinking, but apparently we were on the same brain frequency because he said he loved me too with the same intensity as he meant it. He said he didn't want to let me go, I didn't want to go. But I had to leave, so he kissed my hand goodbye and watched me retreat into the hotel.

In shock, I left back for Seattle. He texted me multiple times that night, I was so head over heels confused.

I waited for him to call me, to text me, to do anything... a day went by...a week, two weeks.

I finally got the courage to text him. All I said was a non-flirtacious how are you-esque message. He responded with in a lack-luster way and never asked how I was, or not even implying anything had happened. I responded back, trying to give sympathy to his dull life. And he never responded.

I feel like an idiot to have trusted him, after it had happened last year too. I thought I loved him and for a moment I got everything I wanted, the perfect story. Oh and did I mention the kiss(es)were on the beach at sunset?

He knows what he's doing to me, he must be a good liar. Or at least manipulator,  because quite frankly I don't think any of that gave off a signal that I read into. It was all clear, or so I thought. We'll just see what happens next.

I just, I love you.

shamrock17 shamrock17
18-21, F
1 Response Mar 2, 2009

Please do not go for something that does not feed your spirit, body, and mind in a healthy, sustainable way. This life is short and what our parents did not teach us is how to make the most of this life. By creating a strong, protective, and sustainable self Love you can stop looking at and holding on to situations that cannot sustain your life efforts. <br />
It starts by learning to Love the Breath of Life & Love within you. It also means protecting the Temple of your life and spirit because of that Love. Once you learn how to Love yourself from the inside out nothing will ever again make you risk yourself for such a small return. Your new self Love will give you the safety, Love and Protection no other enity on Earth can give you. This will put you in control of yourself, your life and your life situations. Hugs, livingwell