The Best Man

I fell in love with my husbands best man. I realised it about 6 months after i got married. I had an opportunity to tell him but i'm a coward. Now i regularly obsess about him. Here is the full story.


The best man, my husband and I were all at uni together. I got together with my husband at the end of our second year and we soon fell in love and got engaged. My husband is a difficult, complex character. Basically he has no thought to mouth filter, he offends people and doesn't care and is uncompromising on his beliefs and opinions. As a young student these characteristics seemed like passion and strength, which worked fine until he was no longer just my Uni boyfriend. When he became my husband everything changed. He was drinking more and more, he was unemployed and depressed, i got the brunt of his frustration and our relationship became more than simply disfunctional - it was nonfunctional!

The best man at one very low point tried to rescue me, and told me that my husband didn't deserve me, he was/is sweet, and sexy and caring, opinionated but able to compromise and my heart aches when i think about him. He did this in a service station half way between Leeds and London, he was driving me home to my parents because i told him (drunkenly at his birthday party) exactly how disfuntional and destructive my marriage was.

I should have asked him when he said "he doesn't deserve you", i should have asked him who did. In my head i was screaming it, longing  hm to answer the unasked question.


I went back to my husband.

Life carried on.

I miscarried 3 months later.

He went into rehab 3 months after that and hasn't touched alcohol since. So we committed to making things work and life has improved ten fold. My heart still aches when i think about The Best Man. I refuse contact with him, but i dream about him, and google him.

So i love him but i can't have him.

swabeyas swabeyas
22-25, F
2 Responses Feb 22, 2010

what if you can make your marriage work? will you still long for the "best man"? just asking.curious.

Do you regret it?