In Love With A Girl Ive Never Kissed (crazy?)

I am a 19 year old guy and she is 15. When I was in 10th grade I started skyping with all of my friends, groups of up to 18! friends inviting friends, anyway a girl invited another girl who is 3.5 years younger than me named KL. She is very gorgeous and very popular, mainly because she's always with her sister who is my age, giving her an advantage from her peers to meet many older people. We started talking over mutual friends until eventually we just started talking privately, about everything, this went on for about a year (with Skype, then I became better friends with her sister and saw her much more frequently in person), never taking it to another level only because she was too young. I was so personal with her, I even joked about how we liked each other but I wouldn't allow us to be more, regardless of her feelings. One day I reunited with an old girl - friend and we started talking, taking her seriously and understanding I couldn't do so with kl. Eventually I became mad that kl wouldn't stop calling me (mainly when I was on the phone with this old friend), even though deep down I loved that she did, thrived on the idea that regardless of what I do to upset her she always came back always called and never stopped thinking about me. Eventually of course she stopped putting up with my ****. Unknowingly turning the table around on me. Since then I became the one that seems to be chasing her (most of the time). Since then we've been in an intense Love/Hate relationship, always staying in touch and seeing each other very occasionally but with other friends present (mostly). Its been to the point where we're know to fight with each other physically and publicly though playfully rough. Everything she does and nearly everybody she gets close to, even today only ****** me off, I cant follow her on twitter anymore without getting jealous and pissed off of every tweet I read of hers. It is now my first year in college and we seem only to be growing more apart. Becoming less friends but she is all I think about. She's a sophomore in highschool which only drives me more crazy because I know how that sounds. She now though of course having stopped putting up with my **** started falling for a number of different guys, some of them my close friends. You can only imagine my rising despise of her though I cant help but adore her. I cant decide now whether to act on my feelings now before its too late and our relationship gets worse or force forget her until I can find a different girl. I still see her every time I come back from college, not seeing her is impossible because of her sister and popularity but she is the most confusing, most loved & most hated factor in my life and she doesn't know it. I could write a novel on this relationship but I'll stop here.
jhawk27 jhawk27
18-21, M
Nov 12, 2012