I Love Him For Who He Is, I Ha...

I love him for who he is, I hate him for hurting me so much.
sondosia sondosia
18-21, F
9 Responses Jul 17, 2007

It all started when i was in 5th grade and he was in 8th. When i first saw him when he moved into the nieghborhood i insantly fell for his personality and looks. More of like than love. About 3 years later we got together, so basically we were childhood friends turned into lovers. Thats what made breaking up with him so hard after being with him for 2 years (i am now 16 and he 18) he started to change as we got closer. It was like he was annoyed at me and always trying to break up with me all the time! It was emotionally wearing for me especially but each time he would try i would always convince him to stay with me. Then he went to college and everything changed. Its true that college changes people. He told me he would never drink because there was no point to it. The second week of college he was drinking so much he threw up. He told me he would never smoke. He started smoking the first week of college. He told me he would never cheat. He cheated more than once BEFORE he went to college, and proceeded to tell me about how many girls he got twerk from at his college parties. He would always make me jealous on purpose, and whenever i did he had the right to get angry! We had broken up a few times before beause i was a "liar". Turns out hes been lieng way more than me. He lied to me to the point where i couldnt trust him anymore and he didnt trust me either. And you cant have a relationship without trust, so i broke up with him. He seemed totally fine with it being the first time ive been the dumper. I hate him for what hes done behind my back.. I hate him for always lieng to me yet trying to break up with me for that very reason LYING. But no matter how much i want to hate him, i still love him and that hurts more than anything.

i hate him, i am so dam angry but i dont want to live without him and i hate him even more for that

I love my boyfriend, VERY much, even if he can be very mean and hurtful sometimes, and say things he shouldn't say. I couldn't ever "hate" any part of him. I'm not in a mentally abusive relationship (contrary to what my mother thinks, but all parents will worry). He does say mean things when he gets pissed on those occasions, and he's sometimes not the best when putting his emotions into words, but I understand him. I have never felt love so strong towards ANYONE EVER BEFORE than I have with my boyfriend<3 Other than his occasions where he can be hurtful and mean, he's sweet and gentle. I love that about him; I'm a very sensitive person who loves everyone and everything and I normally get my head so caught up in the clouds that I end up falling on my face or get too carried away. He's more realistic, more blunt, but I love that :) At first when he told me "I'm not going to promise that we'll be together forever because that's bull****", I was quite hurt. But then when I had some time to think it over, I'm glad that he's like that. He's not some sappy dweeb whose going to give my hopes up. :) We think about things in the same manner, but I am more mellow while he is more hard-headed. Does that make sense?<br />
I'd write so much more about him but I don't want to write a big wall of text :) But I do agree with what you've said, although I could never honestly "hate" him. He does upset me sometimes, but most of the time he's gentle and sweet (while he can still be a little rough around the edges) but I honestly can't imagine myself ever living without him. Everything he is makes me happy and makes me feel a feeling only someone truly in love can feel... Sort of like a warm complete-ness<3

I understand kind of what you mean. You love him because he can be so wonderful. He knows just what to say, the right place to touch your cheek, and how to kiss you so you can't even remember why you would be mad for 'such a silly thing'. Meanwhile, he can be so hurtful and rude. And his immaturity makes you a bit annoyed. At least..thats how it is for me. I know I love him because when Im upset at him for hurting me, or when I feel like I shouldn't be with him, the only person who comes to mind that I want to be held by, that I want to speak to IS HIM. It drives me crazy. He even told me the person I fell in love with or thought was him..wasn't. He told me he was the rude/mean person I see. But the very moment he see's that I'm sad, he smiles takes me into his arms and tells me how he knows he's a jerk which makes me feel better. Is he just playing around with my emotions, or what?!<br />
I'm sorry I started rambling. I will stop.

You love him for who he is? That doesn't make sense considering that HE IS the guy that hurts you so much. That is who he is. If you love him, then it must be for different reasons than who he is.

Yeah...that's it.

that what i fill like but the question for me is what should i do about it, im so confussed help??

that what i fill like but the question for me is what should i do about it, im so confussed help??

Short,simple...so speaks volumes.