Its always the same thing , the same argument, "you can't do anything right" ,"Do you even realize the stress im under" i do baby i do. its not about me it never is we go back an fourth and back an fourt then (strike!) it comes so sudden i barely even realize wat has happend i cover my face i walk away. He comes after me" im sorry it will never happen again". How i could count the times ive heard that. In the end its my fault, i should have  know better than to mouth off. Hes right i dont kno i should just let him be. why? must i push the issue? Why do i stess him out. Maybe it would be different if i didnt mouth off or if i just stayed quite. He convinces me how right he is an how wrong i am. In the end i believe it. i think to myself if it were anyone eles. this wouldnt happen i wouldnt allow it!.Im weak an madly in love with him he knows it everyday i die a little more inside but no one knows no one sees the pain, they dont see the ugly in us. How i wish things would change, but they wont i wish i didnt love him so much.
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5 Responses Aug 2, 2010

Colormevibrant thank you so much! u hit it right on the nose! Whisper is one heck of a smart cookie! And i know in time she will she past his bullshit and finally see him for who his is. <br />
As for u Lollygaggle like i posted on ur whiteboard, there is something wrong with u! EP is not a place for people like u!

lollygaggle, get a LIFE. I hate it when people w/no clue comment on stuff like this. Love literally makes us CRAZY sometimes, and girls/women in physically or emotionally abusive relationships are sometimes rendered completely unable to remove themselves from the situation until and unless it becomes life-threatening.<br />
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Until YOU experience loving someone so HARD it feels as if u can't breathe if they leave u, DON'T post responses telling people they "must really be a bad person" to allow the abuse to continue. That advice is RIDICULOUS and unhelpful.<br />
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Whisper. 18-21 is so young. Doesn't feel like it. But research shows the judgment center of the human brain isn't fully formed until approx. age 25. What this means is that the feelings u have for him may be so incredibly overwhelming, he can convince u of just about ANYTHING.<br />
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Been there. Done that. At age 19 or 20, I left my apt in Texas under police escort after my "him" at the time bloodied my eye and held a knife to my throat. It had never been that bad before. He was always sorry, I was always wrong. I pushed it too far, too. I loved him till I ached. Thought I could never live w/out him -- even as I was driving away to my mom's in another state.<br />
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A few months later, he drove to Florida to collect me. We were engaged. He said he loved me and wanted to marry me. As we sat in my mother's living room, he looked different to me. I realized I'd lived 3 mos w/out him, and I could live 3 more. I let him go. Best decision ever.<br />
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These days, there are so many more ways of staying in touch. If you leave, he can still reach you (and tug your heartstrings) via FB, Myspace, Cell phone, whatever. Please babe, tell your story to someone you know who can help! You don't have to leave him right now if you're not ready, but you DO have to QUIT BUYING INTO HIS BULLSHIT. You are NOT to blame. God gave u a mouth so u can USE it. I'll bet you are one heckuva smart cookie (cause bullies hate that and try to make us feel dumb). You'll work it out in time -- but hurry just a little! ((((hugs))))

hit him back!<br />
Like, don't sit here and talk about how sad you are but how you're unwilling to do anything about it.<br />
You must really be a bad person if you are going to allow it...I mean think about it....!<br />
If you were complaining about a friend getting hurt but all you did is complain about it and never told her to leave, what kind of friend or person are you? NO ONE I want to know!

I know exactly how you feel because I'm in that situation right now. as I project myself and try to evaluated every single things that happened to me for the last 8 years of our relationship. I wanted so bad to stop this cycle and try to put my life together but don't know or when to start.

i kno ... i see the ugly ... u just never wanna admit it ... no one ever does!