My World

A year ago, when I reached out to him, I was at a very low point in my life. He told me to come see him; he saw me from across a crowded room and knew exactly who I was.

He gave me friends, family, fun, knowledge, an education, a career and a life that I thank God for every day. I remember every little thing he's ever said. When he stands near me, my entire body tingles, and I feel safe. At night, when I'm walking and I pass his building, I feel invincible. When our fingers touch, an electric zing travels through me to the core of my very being. Every time our eyes meet, I smile like I've never smiled before.

If I can make him smile, it makes my entire week. He is perfect to me, perfect in every way. I love how, when he says something funny or peculiar by accident, he looks down and contemplates before finally looking back up again and making a funny comment. I love his curiosity, his fascination with things that are strange and taboo, his appetite for danger and the way he flirts with controversy. I love the funny little dances he does when he's playing with the kids, the funky way he dresses and how encouraging individuality just comes so naturally to him. I love his unfaltering optimism, his strength, his dedication, his sense of balance, his sense of humor. I love his penchant for cartoons, good whiskey, and Dr. Pepper Zero. I love the way he says things without saying them to leave room for the necessary political correctness. I love his fairness and all-inclusiveness, and his rare ability to bring friends together. I love his insatiable thirst for adventure.

Because of circumstances, we can't be together in that way. He is married to a very beautiful woman who is just as amazing as he is, and who has become a good friend of mine. However, I just can't help but wonder what might have happened if circumstances were different. Does he wonder, too? Sometimes, when I catch his gaze from across the room or when he reacts kindly to a strange, airhead mistake I make, I think he does. Is that so terrible of me?

After every time I see him, even if it's late at night after a party or freezing cold in the dead of winter, I go running--sometimes for hours. He makes me feel like I could run forever, makes my heart feel like it's going to carry me away into the stars. When I don't fly away, my heart becomes heavy, and sometimes it feels like an awful burden to bear.

In almost thirty years of life, I have never felt love like the love I have for him, and it's a scary thought to think of how I will most likely never feel it again. No one could ever be as beautiful to me as he is. If I hadn't met him, I'm sure I would have married. I would have probably met some decent guy, settled down, and led a decent but mediocre life. He makes me feel like I can settle for nothing less than a love that makes me feel like I can run until I fly away.
An Ep User An EP User
1 Response Jan 7, 2013

Yeah you are a bad person. ZEHAHAHAH I am just kidding, find yourself someone else though.