Hoping That This Pain Ends Some Day

This is crazy. I'm supposed to be an adult now, I'm 25, and I'm feeling this strong uncontrollable impatient adolescent love for him, and I can't get him out of my head.

I want this to end but at the same time I don't, because it brings me a new reason to live and illusions that I had almost forgotten.

Each and everyday, since I met him, I can't help thinking of him and loving him so much until it hurts...

I know he loves me too, but why the hell we can't be together? I trust God and believe He has a special plan for us and everything happens for a reason. I will continue praying that He will reunite us some day.

lonelines4howlong lonelines4howlong
22-25, F
4 Responses Feb 10, 2009

your story exactly same as mine

cant understand why we meet people and fall in love with them who can never be ours.... its such a empty feeling

Hmmm.... it's got nothing to do with being an adult.<br />
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I love my wife very very much.<br />
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I fell in love with another woman, very very much but in a completely different way.<br />
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Neither love is going away. Neither of them would accept the other. So I am waiting for one love to take the hint and leave my heart alone. So far, neither of them has taken the hint...<br />
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Someone said, "To really know love, you must have the experience of killing it." What the hell is that supposed to mean?! I thought when I heard that on radio a while back (I live in France, and I think they were quoting a French writer but I didn't catch the name.)<br />
<br />
I am beginning to wonder if the meaning of that saying is, quite simply, the straightforward one: if you really love A, you must kill your love of B. I don't think that's true. But it's a hopeless situation anyway. <br />
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You should thank the God you believe in that, at least, your love for A is not on a collision course with some B.

I know how you feel about loving someone so much it hurts. I love my fiance so much that it really hurts. It doesn't help that we can't be together right now either =[