Today, I Cried…


Today, after a week of being sick with the flu, I went to the stable where I keep my horses. I wanted to turn them out to run and play in the sunshine.   I also had some very painful decisions to make… We have too many horses. It is not only very expensive to keep horses when we don’t have our own acreage, but it is a lot of work to look after them. I end up having no time to ride, or train. It’s not fair to the horses, and it’s not fair to me.   My family is willing to help me feed, and do some stall cleaning, but the bulk of the work falls to me. Everyone else has lost interest.  And I need to get more out of life.   But, these are my best friends… They are where I turn when my heart is heavy. They are always there for me with a shoulder to cry on, kind and sympathetic. How can I say, well, I’ll keep you and you, but the rest of you have to go.   I didn’t plan to get into this mess, but that is a story for another time. Essentially I took on horses from someone else who was in the same situation I now find myself. Oh, but if I had it all to do again.   So, today I stood and watched them run and play, dashing up to me with eyes bright and manes flying, and tried to make the impossible decision of who will stay and who will go. And I could barely see them through my tears.  
FriendofPromise FriendofPromise
51-55, F
13 Responses Mar 22, 2009

i had to do that to my horse larni ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

well do not feel like u are the lone ranger. I have 4, I've had three of them for like forever, chance buckskin will be 24 this spring brownie pony 19, skippers 15 and i stupidly bought a saddlebred mix colt 4 years old. I have gone as far as advertising but backed out I can not do it, but maybe if they were younger and I had confidence they'd be well taken care of I could. How many do you have? on a sidekick i;m new to this whole questions and answers thing, and a sweet girl asked to be a friend (I guess don;t understand this place) AND I ACCIDENTLY BLOCKED HER!!! ANY IDEAS? I feel bad i did not want to block her, do you subscibe to this site per month like a magazine subscription ? I am used to facebook, thanks give horses a kiss for me.

Three of my horses have gone to new homes... good homes I think... the money wasn't much, just enough that they are unlikely to simply be resold for a profit...<br />
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The first to go was by far the hardest... We had owned him for 9 years, and he part of the family... a real character, and an interesting person in his own right. The woman who bought him appreciated that about him, and I take solace from that.<br />
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The other two went to the same person, and again someone who appreciates them, has spent time with them helping me to care for them last winter, and will give them the care and attention that they need.<br />
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I have one more to sell, my daughter's horse, which she can't really afford to keep, and I can't afford to keep it for her. Somehow, with these positive experiences behind me, it is getting easier. I now keep the horses I intend to keep at a different stable, so I don't have the memories of the other's haunting me when I spend time with them.<br />
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This has been by far the biggest and worst sacrifice I have had to make in leaving this marriage... I still have two dogs to find homes for, and that won't be easy either...<br />
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After that, it's just money and material things... all replaceable... and none of it has feelings...<br />
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I thank everyone who has given me understanding and has empathized with the pain of parting with such good friends... my load is lighter now..., and I am ready to move on.

OH you have touched me where I live. Substitue 'dogs' for 'horses' and you have my dilemma. I need to find homes for 16 Jack Russell terriers, ranging from 2-12 because I'm closing my kennel. Most of these dogs were born into my hands. I'm keeping 4, but even 2 of those need to go to a foster home until my fiance and I buy a home of our own. We were lucky to find a landlord who would let me bring two to our rental.<br />
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When I see their bushy little faces I just want to cry. Daily.

I do hope your pain is lessened and you find your way to more happiness.

Well, today I finally put up the first "For Sale" posters... <br />
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What a sickening feeling. I was talking to them today, when I went out to feed... Divorce is the easy part, this is what is really going to hurt.<br />
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My heart is aching... and I've barely gotten started.<br />
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I can flush dreams, hopes, plans for the future... I have no problem ditching material possessions... but these are living, breathing creatures that I have taught to trust me....<br />
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God it hurts...

Sometimes life does not seem fair. The beauty of your story speak volumes about who you are. I am sad that you had to part with your friends.

I know exactly how you feel I wish I lived by you I would help you for free just so you could possibly keep them I know how much I love horses and how hard it would be to have to get rid of them. My heart truly goes out to you. I pray God will make a way for your hearts desire to become a reality. God Bless you in the truest sense.

(((HUGS)))<br />
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take care

((((((((BIG HUG))))))). Been there too. <br />
Best wishes.

((hugs)) A very painful decision..

Well, what I did was ask myself which ones (I picked two) I couldn't live without. One is quite old, and the other not only very close to my heart, but also an excellent, quality animal. <br />
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Then I picked two more that I would like to keep... and I put a very high price on those two... The rest I priced more realistically...<br />
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And, I'll see what happens... In an odd way, having made even that much of a decision has made it a little easier.

Awww....Have you been able to make a decision yet?