Its Been 10 Years

Often times I am asked why exclusively date outside of my race. It's been 10 years. Prior to that decision I alway kept my options open. I know that it for several different reasons. As a child I was sent to a private school with about 700 children, and out of the entire school there were only 12 blacks. I remember what I liked in food, entertainment, my sense of style, all changed because I was very exposed to the white culture and wanted so badly to fit in and to be able to relate to them. I didn't want to feel like I was different or that I wasn't to be accepted. Even my famiy didn't understand my influences, and my struggles, and how I came to be who I am today. They began to tell me I was talking too proper and to ask me why I listened to white groups, or why I was talking white. I always thought I was being me. I had my first interracial crushes at this point, eventhough they would never have thought of me that way. So I felt neither side of the coin knew me or understood me. I dated black men. My son's father is black. There are just such differences in attitude, goal, ambition, acceptance, understanding and I clearly knew that I was extremely attracted to white men more. I see interracial love and I think they must really love each other, they don't give a damn about what other people think, and that they may have struggled to be together. Its become more common to see a black man with a white woman, but the more odd thing is seeing a black woman with a white man. It makes it very intimidating for me in terms of dating. I fear the rejection of walking up to an attractive white man and him just being bold about not dating a black woman. So I have exposed myself to social setting, groups, or sites that specialize in interracial dating. Maybe if you see my picture and you allow yourself to get to know me you might find out someone you should know. Maybe going exclusive limits my choices, but I know what I like. Not going to turn back, and holding out hope.
pprrnnccffaann11 pprrnnccffaann11
41-45, F
8 Responses Jan 23, 2013

I love interracial relationships to and I live right by Chicago so we should talk sometime:)

Thanks for sharing. I read everything you said and I totally agree with your philosophy am like you in so many ways. I am an Italian biracial 44 year old woman married to a white man. He is my second husband. My first husband was black. I have 11 biracial children of my own and 8 surrogate biracial children for interracial childless couples or couples with significant others. I love biracial couples and when I am out with my husband; both current and former, I would always say something positive to other interracial couples. I am a real firm believer in interracial dating, marriage, sex, and pregnancies. I love the skin tones so much.

Mary Ann

Keep the faith! Yeah I agree it's kind of romantic, a mixed couple standing proud together despite the static from all sides. Everytime I see a mixed couple I give them an imaginary high five. ;-)

No reason for a woman as beautiful as you to feel intimidated.

I know what it's like looking for something that you think you'll never find. Don't give up.

I say to all of you men who fear rejection you may be pleasantly surprised that more black women are open to dating outside of their race than you think. Hopefully she is a good woman and it is worth it when you make the step forward. :)

very nice.... this is a struggle many face, thankyou

So much of truth and facts that relate to us all.
Thank you for sharing your story.