Allow It

Being able to be intimate with another is probably one of the most wonderful experiences in life. By being intimate we allow ourselves to stand naked and vulnerable in front of the other without the fear of being too exposed. We allow ourselves to be touched in many different ways without the fear of getting hurt. We allow ourselves to become lovers even if the relationship is not sexual in nature. In moments of intimacy we become unmasked, fully trusting, sharing deepest secrets and most private thoughts. We share the sense of closeness and unity. We freely offer and receive tenderness, caring and affection.

The best part is that each and every one of us deserves and has the ability to experience this special connection....for the first time or again. All we have to do is allow it, learn to suspend the fear and open up. Take a risk, don't fear loss or failure, let go of hurts from previous relationships, throw our masks away, trust in the goodness of others, don't question, know that we are worthy of this, give some affection and care first.... and enjoy every moment :)

trailguide trailguide
36-40, F
37 Responses Sep 16, 2008

i have been taught that "intimacy" means<br />
<br />
letting you see<br />
<br />
into <br />
<br />

Wow ! what a beautiful thought on life, love and happiness ! very profund. thank you . peter

Trailguide I not only totally agree with you but I also practise what you have described. It is wonderful isn't it.<br />
My mentor in intimacy, Leonard Cohen, began his 2009 London Concert by saying to his audience, "hear we, are just on the other side of intimacy". And that explains it from a songwriter who has spent his life sharing his intimate experiences with us, his audience. For us, it is not his concerts that are intimate, but how we live our relationships.<br />

Sleep together naked-nothin' better............

Thank you.<br />
<br />
Love you too :)<br />
<br />

Hi Lil sister<br />
<br />
Love you!!<br />
<br />
is that intimate enough for you????<br />
<br />
nicely written piece.<br />
<br />


when we allow it ;)

Thank you Dee :)

This has to be one of my most favorite ep stories.. fabulously written. It caught my eye again, and I just had to say so :)

We allow ourselves to become lovers even if the relationship is not sexual in nature.<br />
~~~~<br />
It's the only thing that lasts.<br />
For a long time.<br />
Like true friendship.<br />
<br />
Sex is just violence, disguised as an athletic event!?

Very nice story. Although I believe the complexities of everyday life and relationships makes it improbable for most to achieve. For those who do, they are truly blessed. <br />
<br />
I believe for the same reason people cry at weddings. It is natural for us to hope to achieve the ultimate yet the divorce rate and statistics prove otherwise. :-)

To take a chance on life again ......

This is such a true and beautiful post! I can't help feeling that it has something to give a lot of us...and I'm starting with me.

very true every one needs a partner with whom we can share the deepest thought that comes to us which when cannot be shared with any other relation bearer then with one with whom we have intimate relationship.

"we can have as much intimacy as we allow..."<br />
<br />
so true and so beautifully said...I think fear stops so least for me that (at times) has been the case.<br />
<br />
Thank you for these words. I needed the reminder.

*double sigh*

We all need to feel loved and cared for, when it comes with trust, you bare all.<br />
It's free to just be...

Thank you for your comment Gray. It is indeed the most precious gift we can give one another. It does come with a risk of getting hurt but it is a risk worth taking :).

:)<br />
<br />
Yes one has to wonder why more often than not, we choose the fear of getting hurt..."the wall" over such a wonderful experience.

Nice way with words. Emotional intimacy is difficult for me, but the times I have let my walls down have been some of the best experiences in my life.

Wow Trailguide! I am so stoked to hear another person express this out loud! You say, "...each and every one of us deserves and has the ability to experience this special connection....for the first time or again..." This has always been my wish for everyone (animals, plants, people...) <br />
<br />
And the aspect of intimacy and nakedness...its both terrifying and exhilarating at once. You capture it well, "...We allow ourselves to become lovers even if the relationship is not sexual in nature. In moments of intimacy we become unmasked, fully trusting, sharing deepest secrets and most private thoughts. We share the sense of closeness and unity..." Its ENERGY. Its palpable. <br />
<br />
And at the same time, my experience is that more often than not, people can become downright uncomfortable in the presence of such energy. Do almost anything to change the subject, downplay it, ignore it, or zap others for even daring to be so REAL. <br />
<br />
I think of children and how natural it is for them to move in and out of such a state, alternating with a playful lightness, a rambunctious abandon, and an undying bond of affection and love. I have often lamented the 'loss' of this ease as we grow. The boxing off of "love" into sanctioned categories, situations, relationships where expectation often chokes the natural flow. <br />
<br />
I have learned however, to not make the trade-off so much (thinking that I have to choose whether or not to 'be this way' with certain people, or in certain situations). Instead of seeing it as a choice, I'm playing with the idea of allowing the energy to fully exist within my field and to extend that field out into the space around me without BEHAVING in any way that would seem at all strange or out of place. A sort of steath-vulnerability and intimacy. I notice that it is very effective. Others tend to relax and not really know why they are at ease and being able to share aspects of themselves, not typically available. No comment need ever be made. Its a 2 way gift. <br />
<br />
Still, it is so fantastic to connect with others like this where it CAN be spoken aloud, acknowledged and shared!!! <br />
<br />
Thanks so much for this story!

You are right trailguide I am finding it very very painful.

An absolutely beautiful story, trailguide! There is nothing more nurturing or invigorating than finding this connection with another. And absolutely.. sex doesn't need to be involved.. I think the emotional aspect runs so much deeper. This type of intimacy is what nurtures our soul.<BR><BR>Also the comments here about being more open and true to yourself online.. I find this is true myself, that it is easier to share of yourself this way.. perhaps in part because rejection is less of a factor, and shyness can be more easily overcome.. it's just easier to speak your mind, share your true thoughts, without worrying as much about social conventions, other's reactions. It's very freeing to be able to be so expressive.. anonimity makes this much easier. We aren't busy trying to hide behind the social masks that we create for ourselves.

trailguide -- Baring one's soul is always the toughest thing to do. But with the right person, the courage comes to do so.

Alan---the only requirnment is a bare soul...clothes can stay on :)<BR><BR>Lostbird---i don't think there is such thing as being too authentic. One has to keep being real..the right persons will pick up on it :)<BR><BR>And yes...pain is part of authenticity. <BR><BR>Thanks for reading and commenting, everyone. <BR>We can have as much intimacy in our lives as we allow it .

Thank you for the encouragement Datura....I'm working on the challenge, but experiencing a "blip" just now.<br />
<br />
Thank you for the story trailguide! : )

If it is costing you a lot of energy,then you are not in a situation where you feel free and safe to be yourself in all probability.It happens to a lot of us at one time or another in our lives, and can be a real to challenge to overcome.I am sure that it isn't that you are too difficult to live with.

Wonderfully written story! It's perfect!

It always seems to cost me a lot of energy being me, or trying to be me, I'm wondering if I'm truly too difficult to live with. : (

Yet being authentic is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves, Lostbird. It doesn't really matter if we are always appreciated, even though it can be painful when we are not.<br />
If we are authentic and true to ourselves we don't have to waste a lot of effort and energy upholding a pretense.

I believe I have been truer to myself online than in real life, having said that I let myself show through too much, maybe, IRL too and those around me don't seem to appreciate it!!!

Lostbird -- Very true. I think that some people can really let their true selves emerge through the safety of the screen, allowing them to truly connect to others.

it can even happen through computer screens I believe.

I would like to add that intimacy can happen clothed or unclothed. It's the connection that counts.

Real intimacy can be so difficult and frightening to achieve. But only when we are finally able to take the chance, to risk being vulnerable, can we discover our own magnificence and that of the other.

Sounds wonderful....