I Got My A__ Kicked By A Girl.

I was talking to a girl I used to work with one day about how I lost to a girl in arm wrestling several years back. She was looking at me like "yeah, I could probably kick his a__ myself." She is a light-skinned black girl, about 5'6, 110 lbs...she's "kind of" hot. Mind you, I'm 5'9, 135 lbs. I'll admit that I've always had a fetish for hot girls who can REALLY beat up guys, and I know it's not common. So I challenged her to a fight...I offered to pay her, and if she won, she got more money. She took me up on it...and it wasn't that she said "yeah," but the WAY she said it actually intimidated me a little bit. I could tell she was thinking she was GOING TO kick my a__, and perhaps easily. Anyways, we got a friend of hers to video tape it. We did it MMA style...5 rounds at 5 minutes per round. It started off kind of slow, but after about a minute or so, she got me pretty good a couple of times...enough to get my attention. Little did I know how good of a fighter she was, or how well she used her reach. We exchanged a few moves/punches, and I could tell (we probably both could) that she was getting the better end of it early on. She got me on the ground at one point, and all I could really do was play defense. She had me in a ground and pound situation, but for whatever reason, she (Lauren) got off of me. She could have ended it right there if she wanted to, as there was nothing I could do (I couldn't move). I think she let up because we had agreed on a 5 round fight, and we weren't even 2 minutes into the first round. Anyways, we resumed fighting shortly later, and we started off kind of slowly also, so I gave her a hard, sweeping leg kick. She then said "don't kick me," in kind of a "mf'er, you just f'd up" kind of way...and she was right (I have this on video, so I've seen the "play by play" quite a few times). She got me with a good right hand to the face that backed me up, and as I put my guard up, she stepped towards me and got in a really good body shot...and at that point, the route was on. That body punch knocked me back against the wall, and as I was bending over to protect my head and body, she put her left hand over my head, and used that for leverage that enabled her to get in a nice flurry on the left side of my body. I kept backing up (I turned sideways from the wall), and she kept my head from coming back up with her left hand as her right hand was tagging me. She probably got in about 5 good punches, and as I turned away from her attack, my head actually hit the wall...and as I turned it back away from the wall, she was able to get another good shot right on my face. I kept backing up and was able to spin out of it, and she kind of pushed me off a little with the hand she was using to keep my head largely in her control. I was able to catch my breath for a couple of seconds as I got away from that immediate wall, but I got kind of close to another one (it was like a 15 x 20 foot room), and we tangled again shortly after. I got in a body shot or two on her, but she countered (she absolutely had no fear) with really good precision and went right back to a series of body shots that, once again, had me backpedaling back up against the wall. And once again, she put her left hand on my head to keep me low as I was trying to protect myself more than anything at that point. She was in total control. I tried to escape again by moving forward (away from the corner of the room), but this time she was a step ahead, and she stopped me in my tracks as she got right in front of where I was trying to go, and still managed to keep my head down AND keep me against the wall. At that point, I just braced myself as she landed two haymakers...the first one to my left ear, and the second one to the left side of my face. I can still feel those two punches to this day. My ear was bleeding. I went down, and she let up...and that was the "official" end of round two. By that time, we both knew she was not only the superior fighter, but she was also stronger than I was, as she was throwing me around and controlling me more than I was with her, and there were already two moments where she had me in situations I physically couldn't get out of. So we took about a 5 minute break, and I cleaned up my ear area. Anyways, round 3 was basically more of the same. She was really establishing her lopsided degree of ownage of this fight. She got me in the corner again at one point, sized me up a little, and threw a hard right hand on my left jaw that ended up popping it. I remember my jaw hurt REALLY bad the next few days. Every time I opened my mouth, it kept popping. I couldn't even chew food, but it did get better and the popping sound went away eventually. Anyways, although I never went down, my face and body were taking several flurries from her that left the entire left side of my face and body red (and bruised for well over a week), and there was also a lot of red on the right side of me. I was getting really tired, more so than she was. I knew she was in better condition than I was, but I had no idea how well she could fight or how strong she was. Round 4 started slowly also. We were trading minor punches back and forth. Towards the end of the round, though, we engaged in more of a boxing style, which was a mistake on my part. She tagged me a couple of times with a really good pop (she gave my face a few really good random "pops" throughout the fight), as I could never get a feel for her combination of quickness and reach. She was really unpredictable the whole time, and that's why I think I struggled the most. Anyways, after we exchanged a few blows, she was able to back me up against the wall again with a nice counter push off, and she was able to get a hold of the wrist of my left arm that I was using for defense in a, once again, crouched defensive position. I was able to deflect her first couple of punches by moving my body up and down, but she used that to set me up for a perfect uppercut that echoed another loud smack...and that one hurt. I had to get a little lower to try to escape from her hold, but I couldn't...and that was another mistake. She really used that for leverage...now using her elbow to (once again) keep my head down AS she had control of my only guard (my left arm). She pretty much positioned me how she wanted to by keeping a hold of the wrist of my left (strong) arm as I was crouched down trying to avoid more shots to my face. I moved backwards and forwards a little bit...but it didn't do a whole lot. She started to punch me at will with her right hand. She was even able to get a knee into my upper left leg area, near where she was holding my left wrist. I was eventually able to maneuver my way to get out of her hold, and at that point, I just grabbed her arms so she couldn't do any more damage...and that was the end of round 4. I think we rested for about 10 minutes before round 5. The first 2/3 of round 5 were pretty uneventful, until I landed my best shot of the night to her right shoulder. It was a really good shot, but she didn't even flinch. Instead, it seemed to have pissed her off as she stepped right towards me and landed another right hand to my face that knocked me backwards again, and then she basically just beat the sh_t out of me. I don't even know where to start, but she got me in the corner, and was able to control my head AND arms again (I was in full defense mode)...except this time she got lower to where she was basically bodying me up at eye level, and she started landing uppercuts right to my face. When I watch the video, she lands the first one, and you can hear me go "umpff"...and then she did it AGAIN, and even harder...and you can really hear me grunt loudly after that one. It got me by surprise (almost all of her uppercuts did), and before I could get my hands/arms in the way for defense, she slapped me really hard in the face again. We could hear it echo. At that point, once again, I just tried to cover my face in defense of what became her biggest and most painful barrage of the night that ended up leaving me seriously dazed and beaten. At that point, we both agreed that the fight was over. I mean, this 110 lb girl beat the living sh_t out of me, and she could have easily put me in the hospital if she wanted to.

We did this again about a year later, and it was even worse this time. I really think she had either worked out or trained before the fight as her punches were harder and sharper than I remember from the last time. This time, we didn't have rounds, so we just went until one of us (me) was either knocked out or tapped out. She really got after it from the beginning, and never let up this time. I think we both knew what happened last time, and she was even more confident. I had studied her on tape, but it really didn't matter. She just immediately came out and started throwing haymakers...and landing a lot of them. I was on the ground and on my back in probably 15 or 20 seconds. She let me get up on my own and collect myself, and then went right back into full attack mode when we started again. She landed a sh_t load of her punches, and every time I started backing off, she just stepped right up and kept wailing on me. It was getting ugly fast. My only defense came to running backwards, but when I did, she just stayed right on top of me step for step...hitting me until I was up against the wall. At that point, she turned it up even more, and I had no defense but to cover my head. I just couldn't hit her as fast or as furious as she was hitting me...and for some reason, she just stopped after a while. As good as she was the first fight, she was even better this time, as she was just absolutely relentless. Anyway, I had to wait for 2 or 3 minutes to regain my "composure," or in this case, "ability to see straight." We had another girl taping this one, and she put in some rap music (something about homicide), and that just seemed to pump her up even more. When we went back at it this time, we were sizing each other up, and then all of the sudden, her friend said "come on...beat his *** Lauren!" She almost immediately popped me REALLY good twice in the face through my guard. I don't know how she landed them so cleanly to this day, but she did...and you can hear me go "ohhh" after the second one. I thought my sh_t was bleeding, but it wasn't. I immediately covered my face, knowing that another barrage was coming...so I held my head down. She then re-positioned herself to where I was able to run backwards...but when I did, she just ran forwards again, step by step with me, and then she started talking sh_t to me AS she was kicking my a__ all over the room. I eventually just fell to the ground...and even then, she kept hitting me on top of my head, my face and my shoulders until I just tapped out. Another break...and then we went at it again. Really, at this point, my confidence was so shaken that all I could do was play defense and try to get a nice combo in during one of her barrages, and maybe catch her off guard...but it just wasn't happening. She kept that pace into the next "session," and I was immediately on my heels as she just kept forcing me from one side of the room to another. My "best" defense was literally running away from her. That's kind of hard to do in a 15 x 20 foot room, especially with someone else in there filming it. Anyways, she got me into the corner, and just kept going with both hands until I was sitting in the corner with my arms covering my head. She still didn't stop, but she was getting a lot of my arms, and not necessarily my face, so she backed off and let me out of another bad situation. I felt like quitting at that point, but I realized we had only been fighting for about 3 minutes total (actual fight time)...and I really wanted to get a good 10 or 15 minutes in at least. So we went on...and she slowed it down as she was probably at least a little tired at that point. We went back to more of a sizing up, boxing style...and again, she was just really hard for me to read. She has as much, if not more of a reach than I do, and she just really knew how to fight. As I'm trying to size her up...and I was pretty shaky at this point...she got in three direct shots to my face...again...through my guard, as she was looking right at me. I couldn't believe how she was able to do that (again), but she did...and then she let off and let me regain my composure again. We started sizing each other up again...circling each other...and then all of the sudden, she puts both arms in the air, but her elbows are still pointed towards me. It was like a whole new fighting style, and her reach was more visible. She was looking right at me with her arms kind of dancing up and down,but in no kind of rhthym. If she was trying to confuse me, she did a HELL of a job, because after about 13 seconds, I still couldn't get a read on her, and she just unloaded a HUGE blow to my face. She actually hit my hand that was guarding it, and then my hand hit my face from her right hand so hard, it knocked me back towards the wall, and you could hear me go "oooh." She then came right up to me and landed a minor, but perfectly placed shot with her left hand that forced me back into the corner...and you could hear me pretty much yelp another, much longer and louder "oooh." Those two punches really hurt me, and she could tell. At that point, I was once again in full defense mode just covering my face as she positioned herself for the biggest a__ kicking she had given me yet. I was leaning over and protecting my face, but she just started teeing off...and STILL LANDING shot after shot to my face and head. You can hear me grunt as she's pounding away at my face and body. She backs up for a short period (probably wondering if she should stop), but when I felt her presence back off, I stood back upright...and then it was on again. The moment I got back upright, she stepped right back in, and you can see me react by backing right back into the wall before she even threw another punch. There's a really good "pause" moment here where we're looking at each other, both knowing something bad is fixing to happen to me. It was just a matter of timing, and she's just so quick...I mean...I'm anticipating her punches, and I still can't dodge them. I could even feel them coming, but I just had no idea which hand she would use (her right was strongest) or what direction she would go. You can SEE how I flinch from her first punch, but it still lands solidly on my left forehead. Her right hand BEAT my guard to that spot, when my guard was already up. That's how quick she was. When that happened, I got back in "bend over and defend my head" mode as she brisks the top of my head with her left hand. As I'm standing there, bent over with my arms covering my head, she throws a HARD right directly into my guard that's covering my face and head, and then an even harder one right into the unguarded left side of my body. Every one of these punches hurt badly...even the ones that hit my guard. Not only can you hear me, you can physically see the pain she's inflicting on me. After that body shot, I took my guard down just a bit towards where she hit me (near my left kidney, but not on it)...and the MOMENT I did that...she f___ing TAGS me with a left to the face. SHE even backed off a little after that one, as my body naturally reacted in such a way that my left knee came up as another line of defense, and I shifted my guard (mostly my left arm/hand) back over my face. She gets another shot in on my left forehead (I think she hits my guard, but my guard was already on my face). I was in complete disarray at this time, as she's just completely teeing off on me...picking her shots, and connecting literally EVERY time. As I continued to guard my face, she goes right back to my completely unprotected left side of my body again, but this time further up around my lung. You can see the effect by my body's reaction to every hit...and once again...due to the sheer pain I was experiencing, my guard moved according to her most recent shots...this time back towards my body. Wanna guess what happened next? You guessed it...she lands a HARD left hand right back into my face. When I look at it on video, it seemed as if she was playing checkers between my face and my body. After that last shot, I basically got in full fetal position with my arms covering my face, and I just asked her to stop. She backed off, thank God. We were gonna call it quits after that, but we looked at the film and all of this had only taken about 4 minutes. It seemed like three hours to me...it was so one-sided. I felt worse than I did after the entire first fight...but I was determined to get at least 10 minutes of film, so we took about 15 minutes off, and went back at it AGAIN. At this point, I'm literally "scared" of this girl, and she knows it. She "runs" up to me, kind of half-assed, and starts swinging a little more randomly. I was able to dodge a few, and start to think about some sort of offense, but nothing really came out of it either way. For some reason, the clip just goes to the next scene. I think we took off a few more minutes and resumed the fight. Unfortunately for me, I was already near the corner when we began, and the moment I tried to step towards her, she stepped right towards me, which in and of itself at that point visually intimidated me. She saw that and started another relentless array of punches. The first one didn't land...but I think she was using it to set me up for her next one...as she clocked me with a good left to the right side of my head/face. That knocked me right back into the corner and she just went off. She was chopping down a tree. She was basically doing the same thing she did in the last fight by using her left hand to hold/grab my head and keep me from getting up (she actually used it to push me down this time as she was hitting me with her right hand), but this time she cornered me with her body so I had absolutely no leverage and nowhere to go. I just went full fetal again. Thank God my guard kept her from landing most of her punches, but I did end up on the ground with her pounding at my head with some of her hardest punches from either fight. I was actually able to get up shortly after, and I went for some more. I went directly to the middle of the room, so I wasn't backed into a corner or wall. I just had no concept of offense by this time, though, and I basically realized at that time that she was just going to go right at me, whether or not I back up or play defense. I think she tired herself out a little from that last array of punches (it was probably over 50 of them), but she was still on the attack. She threw a few lazy punches, and I had some lazy defense...but after about 15 seconds, she sets me up perfectly for two more SHOTS...the first to my right ear, and the second in more uppercut fashion to my face as I was leaning down from her first punch. Again, you can SEE my head snap back and the pain I'm in...and she laid off again. I was bleeding from my ear and my nose, so we decided to call it a night. As much as I wanted to go further, I just couldn't. This was after 5 minutes of actual fighting with this girl...and the sad part is that I don't think I got ONE good shot in during this fight. It was lopsided of a "fight" as you'll see...and at that moment, I decided I'm never going to do this again.

Of course, I have since changed my position on that. ;)
hoeforshow hoeforshow
36-40, M
4 Responses Dec 3, 2012

I was knocked out cold by a girl with a single punch for about 10-15 minutes. I'd been telling her how tough I was and she laughed. I said to her to hit me then so I could show her. She wouldn't hit me but I kept on at her. That's the last thing I remember. I woke up a while later and had wet myself. I tried to stand and fell into a bed. My legs were like jelly. The noise must have alerted her and she came into the room and looked at me smiling. I asked her what had happened. She said 'I knocked you out'. I asked her how long id been out and she said ten to fifteen minutes. I asked her how many times she'd hit me and she laughed and said just once. My jaw was sore for about two weeks and kept clicking but this was two years ago and I still can't get over the fact I was knocked out by a girl.

If it was filmed as you say, where may we see the clip?

Cos it probably doesn't exist

Rrright..."cos" there's no way any girls in the history of Earth could kick the living **** out of some guys who are bigger than them. Check out that link I just gave kickmynuts and see for yourself.

I'm 5'10" and 170 pounds. My ex girlfriend was 5'3" and about 120. She was very strong and athletic, and I was the opposite, in rather poor shape. She could easily physically overpower me in every way. Arm wrestling, leg wrestling, submission wrestling, everything. It was very one sided. Fortunately she never kicked the living **** out of me, but we both agreed that she could it she wanted to.

Sorry for the delay...I haven't been on here in a while. You have to pay to watch the whole video, but you can view previews for each clip if you'd like. Here you go...


1 More Response

I have dropped a lot of boy when i was growing up and they were afraid to stand in front of me. I kicked so many of them.

my fights with boys consisted of one kick. It was over right then. simple. ha ha

what a great story, you must of been feeling might bad after that fight. have you uploaded the fight online, it would be grat to see a few minutes of your beating:)

Here's the link if you want to check it out...you have to pay to see the whole videos but the previews are free.


And yes, I was feeling it pretty bad for several days after both fights. I remember my face and body having bruises for about 2 weeks both times. I was able to cover up most of the damage done to my face, but I still took off 2 or 3 days of work after the first fight and a full week after the second one. Even then, a couple of my friends/coworkers asked me what happened when I "resurfaced" back into every day society.