Jesus Christ My First True Love

I met Jesus Christ by a chance encounter that almost seems like fate. My real dad left our family when I was 7 and left my mother, sister, and me to fend for our selves when she didn't know any English and had never held a stable job in her young life. Rent was skyrocketing in our area at the time and we moved to a new state where we managed to scrape by. My grandmother came to visit us from a foreign country. She was a devout catholic and forced me to read the Bible continually in exchance for allowance. She would then make me converse about what I had gleaned from the texts. This was when I was 12 and ever since then I was completely addicted to Jesus and the Bible. The thing is I was (and probably am to an extent) a very self centered and ignorant person and just the realization that there is more to life than emptiness, misery, and materialistic endeavours helped me to live again,even as a very young child.

Over and over again I come across adversity where I would find the road was difficult. I was too naive and dreamy about romance and always seemed to not be able to express myself correctly to the people I truly wanted to share my heart with. I got addicted to gambling, I stole and hurt others for "the fun of it". I hated being me and forgot about Jesus continually but he's always there. He's always waiting with open arms. He died for my sins and lived a perfect life as a mortal human being. He is the unattainable goal which we all should strive to be, a symbol and example of complete peace, harmoney, integrity, and persona. I'm a very private and reserved person and I have only cried when I read the Book of Proverbs. I have probably read the book atleast 30 times in my life and sometimes in times of deep sadness, depression, anxiety, and even happiness, I find myself crying in the solitude of reading the Bible once again. United with the eternal lord, father, and brother of my heart who I continually displease, yet who continues to smile at me and invites me to dine with him. I love you Jesus, you are the one and only and I pray that one day I may be able to do something worthy of even an ounce of the friendship you have lovingly granted me all these years and throughout the years to come.