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Jesus Christ My First True Love

I met Jesus Christ by a chance encounter that almost seems like fate. My real dad left our family when I was 7 and left my mother, sister, and me to fend for our selves when she didn't know any English and had never held a stable job in her young life. Rent was skyrocketing in our area at the time and we moved to a new state where we managed to scrape by. My grandmother came to visit us from a foreign country. She was a devout catholic and forced me to read the Bible continually in exchance for allowance. She would then make me converse about what I had gleaned from the texts. This was when I was 12 and ever since then I was completely addicted to Jesus and the Bible. The thing is I was (and probably am to an extent) a very self centered and ignorant person and just the realization that there is more to life than emptiness, misery, and materialistic endeavours helped me to live again,even as a very young child.

Over and over again I come across adversity where I would find the road was difficult. I was too naive and dreamy about romance and always seemed to not be able to express myself correctly to the people I truly wanted to share my heart with. I got addicted to gambling, I stole and hurt others for "the fun of it". I hated being me and forgot about Jesus continually but he's always there. He's always waiting with open arms. He died for my sins and lived a perfect life as a mortal human being. He is the unattainable goal which we all should strive to be, a symbol and example of complete peace, harmoney, integrity, and persona. I'm a very private and reserved person and I have only cried when I read the Book of Proverbs. I have probably read the book atleast 30 times in my life and sometimes in times of deep sadness, depression, anxiety, and even happiness, I find myself crying in the solitude of reading the Bible once again. United with the eternal lord, father, and brother of my heart who I continually displease, yet who continues to smile at me and invites me to dine with him. I love you Jesus, you are the one and only and I pray that one day I may be able to do something worthy of even an ounce of the friendship you have lovingly granted me all these years and throughout the years to come.

spark16 spark16 26-30, M 3 Responses May 17, 2010

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What a wonderful testimony! Your Grandmother must have been an amazing woman! I love to see how Christ has taken the clay of a shattered life and mold it into a vessel that can be used for Him.<br />
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My story is very similar. I made a wreck of my life trying to make it on my own. My life was devastated by drugs and sex. He lifted me up when I had reached the lowest point in my life. <br />
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Thanks for sharing!

Praise The Lord

An honest account of your relationship with a very special person in your life. I feel sure He doesn't want you to beat yourself up so much. He knows you're trying hard to live the perfect life. But remember, my friend, only He is perfect. We all fall short of being like Him; I have done, do and will again. I've read many of your comments on EP, and now I have had the priviledge to read something of how deeply you feel. I don't know Him as well as you do, but is there a chance He could be telling you to go easier on yourself?