Trapped, By Dr. Philbilly

A few weeks back I had a 7 am appointment at Wal-Mart in “The Bay” to have my tires rotated. I gave the girl my keys and she said it would be about 30 minutes. So I walked around a little bit trying to kill some time when I got the urge to go to the bathroom really bad. Well, since I had plenty of time, I head off to the bathroom. I had to go so bad I must not have been paying attention cause when I walked into the restroom something seemed wrong. Real wrong!

There were no urinals and more toilets than usual. Craaaaap! No I didn’t!

So I cracked the door open to look at the sign on the door and it says “WOMENS”. Daaaang! I peeked around the corner to see if anyone saw me and a lady was headed right my way. I start to panic. I stand there for a second hoping she will just walk by (actually I’m praying she would just walk by) but the door started to open. I can’t breathe. I panic and run into the first stall I see and sit on the toilet. I’m sitting there with my head in my hands not knowing whether I should laugh or cry.

The lady goes in the next stall and starts to use the bathroom. This just seems so wrong on so many levels. I felt like I had broken so many laws. I felt all bad about myself. Then I hear the voice of an angel. Wait, no, it’s just the lady in the stall “Can you pass me some paper, Honey, this one’s out.” OMG!

I can’t talk in a ladies voice so I just give her a high pitched “Um Hm” and pass the roll of TP under the stall. She says “Honey, I know a great manicurist that will do wonders for your hands.” Oh no she didn’t. Is she sayin’ I got man hands? Wait a minute, I am a man. I’m so confused!

She finally leaves. I give her a second to get out the door and I make my move. I peek out the door down the hall and I shoot out like a rocket. I start to make a u-turn into the men’s restroom when I slipped and busted my butt…hard! I bounced right back up like a rubber ball and shot into the restroom. Craaaaaap! Now I don’t have to pee anymore. Then I hear my name being paged over the intercom for me to come to the service desk.

How did they know? Craaap! I’m going to jail…I can’t go to jail. Not today!

Then I remember my truck is in the garage. Whew! Stop laughing…this kinda stuff happens to everyone, right? I'm just sayin'.
DrPhilbilly DrPhilbilly
41-45
13 Responses Jul 12, 2010

Its a talent I haven't quite figured out yet A.M....I just seem to be life's practical joke lol.

Actually you'd be surprised at how many times us girls like to use the men's restroom. Like blueyes said, less lines. So it's understandable.<br />
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How do you throw yourself into these situations?

ha ha...very good tip. But my pants were up. That would have been just way to wierd lol. I read and reread the signs now. No matter how bad i gotta go lol.

YOU, Sir -- are a Truly, Great, Storyteller!! What a screamer! :-) Now honest? I'd not have wanted to be the lady in the next stall, but BOY what a hoot! <br />
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Next time (yikes!), you REALLY shouldn't sit on the toilet in the ladies' loo -- especially @ a Walmart! *shudders* As all properly brought up young ladies know, one should squat, not sit, at a public facility. ;-)

lol...trust me it happened all right. How could you make this stuff up? lol. I think the world is just pickin on me lmao :)

How in the world do you get in these situations? I'm not really sure that this actually happened to you or anyone!

Auror...It was funny once I got my truck out of the garage asd was 6 miles down the road lmao :)

..was funny doc !

Sunshine...Like a cross between Bean and Jim Carey lol. Prob would have ended up on one of those cop shows lmao!

StarliteRose...Thats scarry lol. Now I'll be sizing up all the feminine guys in the bathroom wondering lol...Thanks for the visual :)

Bueeyes...I thought I was headed for the pokey for sure lol. I was about to have a nervous jerk down lol.

LMBO!!!!!!! Next time all you have to do is pretend to be a very butch woman. If someone makes a comment just laugh and say you get that all the time ;-)<br />
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How do I know, I mistook a butch lady for a guy in a restroom once......... hmmm I still wonder if it was a guy, but I didn't want to offend her!

Too funny!! Women use the men's restroom more than you think. Less lines!! Don't feel bad for being in there. Most of us will understand!