Man Down, By Dr. Philbilly

Several years ago me and a friend, let’s call him Joey, were at our favorite watering hole one night just chillin’ out and playing darts. Now Joey plays in a dart league and takes the game pretty serious, which is all the reason why I had something special planned for him but just needed to wait for the right moment.

Joey is whipping my butt at darts as usual, and rubbing it in, as usual. His mouth is running ninety to nothing – nonstop. So I think to myself, "now’s a good time for my little “surprise". For those of you who don’t know, it’s dart courtesy to stand by the board and retrieve the other person’s darts after they’ve been thrown. So, it’s my turn to throw and Joey stands by the board ready to retrieve my darts.

I intentionally throw a high dart so it will bounce off the backboard and hit the ground so Joey will be distracted when he goes to get it. As he’s picking the dart up off the floor (laughing at me as he’s doing so) I unscrew the metal tip from one of the darts I have left and put the tip in my pocket. I throw the second dart and Joey laughs again as he normally does because I couldn’t hit the side of a barn. I have now thrown two darts and Joey has laughed at me two times. I’m ready to throw the last dart, the one with no tip, so I wind up and throw it as hard as I could and hit Joey square in the stomach. Joey ain’t laughin’ no more.

Actually he lets out a strange little screech – one I’ve never heard before – and then there’s total silence. To make things even better, the dart gets hung up in his shirt and it just hangs there. Joey gives me a strange look and then falls to his knees screaming “Call 911, I’m hit, I’m hit, man down!”

I can’t even see anymore from the tears in my eyes cause I am laughing so hard. I walk over to Joey and stand over him as he’s lying on the floor holding the dart in place. I reach over to pull it out and tell him to hang tough. This is going to hurt a little.

When I reach for the dart his eyes get wide as saucers. I give it a quick pull and sounded like a 12 year old little girl crying for his momma. Now would be a good time to let you in on the kicker. I had a pack of ketchup that I hid in my hand with a small hole poked in the top of it. When I pulled out the dart I squeezed the pack of ketchup and a long red stream shot straight up. That's when I think he grunted and passed out.

When he finally comes to and I show him the tip of the dart it’s amazing how all his pain just suddenly disappears. However, I don’t really care much for the new look he has in his eyes. I smell a little payback, but it was totally worth it! I’m just sayin’.

DrPhilbilly DrPhilbilly
4 Responses Jul 17, 2010

lol...that saying only applies when you are not the victim. I'm sure he will return the favor. He always does. He is quite the character lol. :)

Ah, Yes......Revenge is a dish best served cold......When you least expect it, expect it....... It'll have to be a really good one to top that........ and in front of lots of people who know you both............ there may be a strange woman involved......... I'm just sayin'<br />
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What was that your friend said about something you'll laugh about in 20 years?

lol...I keep one eye open at all times. He dont pull pranks on people alot but when he does they are worth watching. He is a planner and willing to wait for the right time lol. Keeps me on my toes tho :)

That is hysterical! I would watch out, if I were you. Your friend is pretty much honor bound to get you back, you know, but that one will be hard to beat. lol