Halloween At Walmart, By Dr. Philbilly

Back on Halloween day I was sent to Wal-Mart to look for costume accessories for a party we were going to that night at my wife’s sister’s house. I was looking for what I needed on the toy aisle and the place was absolutely packed. You would have thought it was Christmas instead of Halloween.

Anyway, I’m looking around up and down each isle and I finally spot what I need on the shelf. I make my way through the crowd to get it but there are these two little boys blocking my way. They are in front of me checking out what I’m sure is the coolest new toy on the market. I’m gonna have to reach over them to get what I’m after.

I pat one of the little boys on the head and ask “How the heck are you little fellas’ doing today?”

Imagine my total surprise when the little fella’ that I had just patted on the head turned around and had a full grown mustache. I’m talkin’ full length handle bars. This was the shortest man I have ever seen. Nothing against short people, but he really looked like a kid, with a mustache.

There was one of these rolling latters by us, the one’s that employees use to get merchandise off of high shelves. This guy climbs up the latter until he is eyes level with me, rustles my hair with his hand and says “I’m pretty good, how the heck are you big fella’?”

Then he climbs down the latter, takes his son by the hand and walks off staring me down over his shoulder the whole way. I’m so embarrassed and I can feel my face and ears turning red. He stops at the end of the aisle, turns around and gives me the dang bird. Not just a regular make your point bird. He gives me the full right arm swinging under his left arm straight up bird. I felt so bad, after I got done laughing that is. Poor little fella’. I’m just sayin’.

DrPhilbilly DrPhilbilly
4 Responses Jul 17, 2010

In my town going to WalMart is like going to a redneck family reunion. You shop for 20 min and talk for an hour lol.

A.B...you should have seen it. This stache was like the one Kurt Russell wore in Tombstone lol. Poor guy ha ha!

Breezeann...I pur my foot in mouth big time but would have never insulted him intentionally. But dang it was so freakin funny lololol!!! :)

Oh damn! I bet you felt reeeal better after this turn of events. Poor guy with the brilliant stache.